poemranker ::Indianapolis Since by matt door

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 140865

Indianapolis Since

by matt door

Member since 2005 · Posted 14 Mar 2006 · Edited 14 Mar 2006 · 3 comments

Behind school 61 - in the wide-eyed field of green and was, still stands that willow tree, with the carved trunk, of the names and hearts of Patricia Street; Still shadowing the love of young wishes; Casting the perfect shade of once; I'll wait for you in Indianapolis - and miss you in between.

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mean 5.75 weighted 5.09 rank 6272 views 172 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

3 comments

[7] Dovina 14-Mar-06/7:45 PM Reply
Seems like "the love of young wishes" should be "the wishes of young love." A nice sentiment.
[8] Ranger 15-Mar-06/3:26 AM Reply
I don't know, I think 'the love of young wishes' works just as well. This is nice, you are very good at writing brief, nostalgic poems! I'm not sure about 'field of green and was', or 'perfect shade of once'...something a little more logical might fit better - but even so, it works well as it is.
[8] Caducus 24-Mar-06/1:22 AM Reply
wide eyed field is a good line giving possibilities of the sun being the eye or blooms.

The sentiment is nice but you should learn to curb sarcasm and disrespectful digs because it gives you a superioeity complex that will not win you respect on here.