on Settling in by INTRANSIT
13 Mar 2006, 2:50 PM
Another enjoyable ditty, particularly the semi-repetition 'sliding/siding' at the beginning and end. Is 'dryer' part of a truck (as I assume washers are)? Nice onomatopoeic tricks.
I trust you don't have to live in your motor all winter?
I trust you don't have to live in your motor all winter?
on Call me Floyed by FreeFormFixation
13 Mar 2006, 1:23 PM
I don't know the Bob and Tom show, but this was still good fun.
on -untitled- by MacFrantic
13 Mar 2006, 1:22 PM
Except for stanza 2 this made me think of a news photographer, possibly a war reporter in a darkroom developing photographs (not that he'd be doing much else in a darkroom, I assume). Not sure what to make of stanza 2.
I like the choice of language here, although it's fairly zany in places it nonetheless retains a semblance of sense. I struggle with 'Diphthong's ripe imbalance' though.
Enjoyed. 8
I like the choice of language here, although it's fairly zany in places it nonetheless retains a semblance of sense. I struggle with 'Diphthong's ripe imbalance' though.
Enjoyed. 8
replying on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina
13 Mar 2006, 9:45 AM
Out of curiosity, are you a teacher?
replying on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina
13 Mar 2006, 9:44 AM
That was epic...
replying on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina
13 Mar 2006, 9:38 AM
Ironic, yet I suspect universal.
replying on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina
13 Mar 2006, 9:25 AM
Why the fuck did I just start that comment with 'See' as well? You're sending subliminal messages again, aren't you?
replying on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina
13 Mar 2006, 9:24 AM
See, over here we have to be really careful when phoning the emergency services, because if we're not looking when we dial we run a serious risk of getting through to Hell's call centre by mistake.
replying on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina
13 Mar 2006, 9:20 AM
So any number you pick will be 'one of a myriad'. Now, I don't know if that featured in Dovina's thoughts when she wrote this, but it's not such a bad idea.
replying on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina
13 Mar 2006, 9:05 AM
1 + 8 + 3 = 12
12 = 3 times 4
3 = the number of God
4 = the number of the universe
Therefore 12 = the number of everything
So if you were writing a gospel of revelations, 183 could indeed be highly symbolic. Or it could be a number plucked purely at random off a number tree. I really don't know.
12 = 3 times 4
3 = the number of God
4 = the number of the universe
Therefore 12 = the number of everything
So if you were writing a gospel of revelations, 183 could indeed be highly symbolic. Or it could be a number plucked purely at random off a number tree. I really don't know.
replying on The Devil's Carnival by Ranger
13 Mar 2006, 8:30 AM
A fair point - there is a purpose to the word choice there. First (and least of all) it's in keeping with the fairground 'merry-go-round' theme. Second, it's one of the reactions you'd tend to get from ride attendants to children who've suddenly decided they don't like the ride they're on. And thirdly it attempts to encapsulate the sort of attitude of people who gang up on individuals for kicks (no pun intended); they quite clearly can't understand why it's distressing for the individual being pushed around (teacup twirl). With any luck, that explanation will make things a bit clearer.
Personally I despise the theme in this, but as a poem I think it works quite well.
Personally I despise the theme in this, but as a poem I think it works quite well.
replying on Boundaries by Dhanesh M Kumar
13 Mar 2006, 8:18 AM
Actually, having thought about the context, I really like the last two lines of stanza 2.
replying on Boundaries by Dhanesh M Kumar
13 Mar 2006, 8:15 AM
Makes more sense now, although I still stick by what I said about the grammar. 'Crackle the chains' is certainly clearer with the interpretation, as is 'Staggering changeling'.
Decent theme.
Decent theme.
on to a girl from msn by francis nor capule
13 Mar 2006, 8:04 AM
Pretty cool, the title makes it sound as though she's from halfway across the world. Do you know her in reality, or just over the net?
on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina
13 Mar 2006, 7:58 AM
With the exception of 'unmatched and unmatchable' this made me think of The Island. Which, although I was sceptical, wasn't a terrible film.
'Called, with affection, odd'
Marvellous. 9
'Called, with affection, odd'
Marvellous. 9
on Send The Devil... by horus8
13 Mar 2006, 7:53 AM
Awesome. Stanzas 2, 3 and 4 rocked my world, as did the final two lines.
It's been too long since I last read your stuff.
It's been too long since I last read your stuff.
on i want to know how the japanese type by hendrimike
13 Mar 2006, 7:43 AM
Brief, simple and fairly effective.
The title was the best part though.
The title was the best part though.
on Even the elephants by ecargo
13 Mar 2006, 7:40 AM
Vivid! Very few poems actually take me to the scene; this one is an exception. Once again I think your word choice is impeccable...no fault with this one whatsoever. Stanza 3 was great and stanza 4 was even better!
I still like the concept of this poem, although it does feel very film-esque.