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3/12/06 (Free verse) by cronus
oh god i'll never be well again will i? pouring out blood black ink bitter on the page not as much as it needs to be knowing what it is makes swallowing that much harder

Up the ladder: Going Camping
Down the ladder: Summer Rain

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Weighted score: 4.9525743
Overall Rank: 8854
Posted: March 12, 2006 10:48 AM PST; Last modified: March 12, 2006 10:48 AM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 | 12-Mar-06/12:01 PM | Reply
'black ink/bitter...' makes me think you're talking about Guinness.
I'm really not sure what to make of this...particularly the last stanza is open to many, many 'comic' interpretations. Was that intentional? I'll need to have a think about this before I can post anything of any use.
[n/a] cronus @ 69.119.168.109 > Ranger | 16-Mar-06/6:57 AM | Reply
The last stanza was written more in the sense of bile, but I can see your point about it having many comic interpretations :)
Have you ever stood in the way of harm, not because you had good reason, but because pride didn't allow any other option? That was the mood I was in when I wrote this. What I was actually thinking is anyone's guess.
[n/a] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 > cronus | 16-Mar-06/7:21 AM | Reply
'Have you ever stood in the way of harm...?' Yes - my 'conversations' with poetandknowit are testament to that! But then again, I was young and foolish...(what's changed?)

Anyway, I've read through your stuff and I like your style, you write pretty well - but you always seem to struggle for comments. I really think that with feedback from the top poets here (most of whom are always around to comment) you could do well. Try posting feedback on other peoples' poems and you'll get plenty in return!
[n/a] ecargo @ 167.219.88.140 > Ranger | 16-Mar-06/7:44 AM | Reply
Good god, Ranger--don't invoke the man from Misery (PAKI)! Sheesh. That's all we need.
[n/a] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 > ecargo | 16-Mar-06/7:46 AM | Reply
Heh...some of the things we said to each other are embarrassing...if I thought he'd read it, I'd apologise to him...what *would* he make of me now?
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