Re: A young Man’s Demise by Dovina	16-Feb-06/3:53 AM
Dovina, this is excellently written, but a bit long. I can't really see anything that needs removing though, maybe I'm just impatient today.
regarding some deleted poem...	16-Feb-06/3:55 AM
Makes me think of Cardiff, this wonderful city.
Re: The Gold and silver dress by Caducus	16-Feb-06/9:22 AM
Beautiful, stanza 3 in particular. Change 'dawn's knives' to something softer.
Re: Together they Fell by Fayt	16-Feb-06/9:26 AM
I like the story in this, although I feel it would benefit from more descriptive language. 'Huge pole' is very simplistic and doesn't feel right in this; even just saying 'concrete pole' puts a little more imagery into this. See what you think.
Re: Historical Epic by Bobjim	16-Feb-06/12:32 PM
Somehow made me laugh; in my simple way. I think it's picturing as a kangaroo. Kangaroos bloody always cheat. Except for when they're playing chicken with cars. They tend not to then, for some reason...
Re: Angst by Mikius	17-Feb-06/3:21 PM
I sincerely hope this was meant to amuse, because I had to chuckle at it. Knowing you, I think it was!
Re: Gunsong by MacFrantic	18-Feb-06/1:25 PM
This is excellently structured and the content is also of high quality. Stanza III line 7 doesn't quite make sense to me - the Earth appears to be calling the demons 'graves', I must be missing something there. Other than that, I like the imagery. Last three lines are superb.
regarding some deleted poem...	18-Feb-06/1:27 PM
This was great fun to read. Now do some ranking yourself!
Re: After a Show at the Lyceum by andrew barnes	18-Feb-06/1:34 PM
Yes, I like this. I'm not sure about 'father-like', it doesn't quite seem to work, other than that, nice!
Re: FAT BALLET- PAS DE DEUX by andrew barnes	18-Feb-06/1:35 PM
Amusing, quite witty and good fun. I'd rather see an alternative to the 'cleverly/severally' rhyme, but that's my only real gripe.
Re: Nightfall by Niphredil	19-Feb-06/2:17 AM
This is a fantastic villanelle, very well-written and extremely vivid. The only thing I would change is removing one of the 'ands' in line 7, maybe changing it to something like 'Now that it has grown late and I am free...' (a bit clumsy-sounding actually, but you get the picture). 'Weather-worn caresses'? Beautiful.
Re: Without my Glasses by Niphredil	19-Feb-06/2:25 AM
Very readable indeed, although I couldn't tell from experience if this is at all accurate; I shall take your word for it.
regarding some deleted poem...	19-Feb-06/3:54 PM
Stanza 4 = very good. Line 11 'its'. Nicely picturesque, if such a word can be used for poetry, although I have a couple of ideas about what you could be referring to in this one and I'm not sure which might be the right one.
Re: You by terbenaw	19-Feb-06/4:02 PM
Sadly the world rarely slumbers in dreams of tranquility, but the occasion would be a wonderful thing. Anyway, this is very softly written and I like it. Personally I'd change 'velvety' to simply 'velvet' because that entire analogy is very good. Again, I like the way you refer to the moon, although I think that you could find something better than 'phosphorescent' - just my opinion though. Sadly the line 'pecan brown treasures' made me think solely of -=Dark_Angel=-, quite a shame as it's a lovely line. -=D_A=-, you have tainted my reading of poetry with your embrowning. Actually, I'd quite like to see him use that line in a poem(e)...
Re: Lost In Her Effervescence by ALChemy	19-Feb-06/4:12 PM
Line 8 - is it meant to be 'cry out "Swim..."'? That would seem to make more sense to me. I like 'mothering sun', I take it that is a semi-play on 'mothering sunday'? It makes that passage a neat little metaphor for life. I'm not totally sure about the last line, in a way it unbalances the 'positive/negative' equilibrium of this piece.
Re: The Dead Poet's Dream by drnick	20-Feb-06/4:54 AM
Did you ever read my 'Struggling Poet's Lament'? Because I know precisely what you mean here (somewhat ironically, given the context of the poem). I like how you've dealt with the idea of everyone's interpretation of a poem being correct - especially after the poet's death, and how we tend to be overly praising of a poet posthumously ('He will misspell words/But only in pretend/His rhymes lie perfect'). Very creatively done, and pleasantly concise.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Feb-06/4:56 AM
'She got to be her, and I didn't...' You seem a bit annoyed at the moment!
Re: Pancakes by raven_the_poet	20-Feb-06/5:01 AM
A very charming little tribute, the last stanza made me chuckle. As a student, pancakes are a long-lost joy but I swear in time that will change. On a slightly different note, it reminded me of Bush's speech about America being addicted to oil, very topical indeed.
Re: Ben Fogle by Stephen Robins	20-Feb-06/5:02 AM
An unsung hero. Until now.
Re: A Broken man by Mikius	20-Feb-06/5:17 AM
Makes me think that it should perhaps be a collection of haikus; the natural imagery fits the bill perfectly. Personally I'd change 'Trampled underfoot', as a phrase it's very worn. It took me a second read to realise the 'leaves in fall' bit, I'm not as quick with Americanisms as you are, but it works beautifully.