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After a Show at the Lyceum (Terza Rima) by andrew barnes
Tumbling out of the high Grand Circle, down Waterloo Bridge, arm linking arm. Theatre lights reflecting purple, leaching water-ink to the river's calm. The Thames' cold flow, a deep orchestra pit, dark as the wings. Your hand in my palm. Blind hopes of a first London visit set a great fire in your dazzling eyes. I watch, father-like, revelling in it, but know the flames will fade soon and die. Even now I notice you tire, attention drifting, as a gull on the tide. Back to the hotel, twin beds conspire a first separation, a slight chink in the tabs. You dream other cities and new desires.

Up the ladder: The Thief
Down the ladder: Lost Soul Place

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.3333335
Weighted score: 5.0397344
Overall Rank: 7059
Posted: May 21, 2005 12:06 PM PDT; Last modified: May 21, 2005 12:06 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] deleted user @ 81.69.23.196 | 21-May-05/2:13 PM | Reply
This is so much nicer than the 'Make a mark' rubbish elsewhere
[8] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 | 23-May-05/12:24 PM | Reply
Nice.
"revelling in it" -> "reveling"
[n/a] andrew barnes @ 80.195.91.19 > Dovina | 24-May-05/12:54 PM | Reply
Thanks for positive comment. I did ponder on the spelling of "revelling" but my English dictionary says double L, so I went with that rather than the Americanism of the Microsoft spell check !
[8] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 > andrew barnes | 24-May-05/12:58 PM | Reply
I meant, leave out "in it"
[n/a] andrew barnes @ 80.195.91.19 > Dovina | 24-May-05/1:57 PM | Reply
mmmmm.....maybe I'll re-read
[8] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 | 18-Feb-06/1:34 PM | Reply
Yes, I like this. I'm not sure about 'father-like', it doesn't quite seem to work, other than that, nice!
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