replying on First Love by Dovina
3 Sep 2005, 6:46 AM
Ultimately I would say that rhythm is not more important. I DO think the first 3 lines set up a nice beat and I thought follow through would be good. Hmmm. Maybe l-4 is okay. one more beat in 5?
replying on First Love by Dovina
3 Sep 2005, 6:40 AM
I DO! I DO! I DO! (skipping gayly around Zodiac)
on The Absense of God by Bluemonkey
2 Sep 2005, 12:27 PM
Flight 2252, 757 heavy. You are cleared for take-off runway two-seven left.
on Baudelaire: The Albatross by Sasha
2 Sep 2005, 12:22 PM
I have a chapbook of Baudelaire, Some poems from Le Fleurs Du Mal. Already translated of course. Honestly, whenever I make a comment on your poems, I feel like a dope. Completely unknowledgable. Useless. I hate that. I really do.
on First Love by Dovina
2 Sep 2005, 12:16 PM
Deeeeeeeee! please go for the beat and not the look.
....I wasn't winter-broken, though,
I thought that it would stay.
I hate using extra words too but the first three lines
hopscotch nicely.
....I wasn't winter-broken, though,
I thought that it would stay.
I hate using extra words too but the first three lines
hopscotch nicely.
on Urbane Jane by MacFrantic
1 Sep 2005, 7:38 PM
it's a keeper.
on Child Shaped Adult by http://mulberryfairy
1 Sep 2005, 7:17 PM
OOOOOH!!! and the sub-poem too! wow.
on Child Shaped Adult by http://mulberryfairy
1 Sep 2005, 7:16 PM
Good to see you're still at it! I miss god's wife. Don't you? This is really great, I love it.
on Falling by D. $ Fontera
1 Sep 2005, 8:55 AM
Quit -the- din, i think would be better. Otherwise, I hope to see this in the top twenty soon.
replying on Dying breed by INTRANSIT
31 Aug 2005, 10:00 AM
so I clean up -then- (them) and -waving-(weaving) and then its bridgs. GAH!
on The Right Thing To Do by Bethy
31 Aug 2005, 8:20 AM
what the?
on The Right Thing To Do by Bethy
31 Aug 2005, 8:19 AM
spelling or comma in the last line.
replying on The Right Thing To Do by Bethy
31 Aug 2005, 6:32 AM
Nice to see you in top forme again, btw.
replying on Summer Song by wilco
31 Aug 2005, 6:22 AM
that happens to me too.. apostroHER would have been interesting. lol.
on Summer Song by wilco
31 Aug 2005, 6:21 AM
Snoop out the pimply parts and it'll roll.
on Katrina by jessicazee
31 Aug 2005, 6:17 AM
I like the first and second stanzas. 3 needs its lines shuffled and delete the -the- in the fourth, this will connect the two. take a rasp to the english and the end seems to be dangling, unfinished, as if suddenly washed away. ees goot.
replying on Present, tense by INTRANSIT
31 Aug 2005, 6:09 AM
Erm, no. But that's funny! And again I'm close to what I want to say here. damn.
replying on Geraldine Florentine, MD by T. Jonathron Remp
30 Aug 2005, 3:30 PM
I stand corrected.
You are an alien nut.
You are an alien nut.
on Geraldine Florentine, MD by T. Jonathron Remp
30 Aug 2005, 11:44 AM
you nut.