| Re: a comment on First Love by Dovina |
3-Sep-05/6:46 AM |
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Ultimately I would say that rhythm is not more important. I DO think the first 3 lines set up a nice beat and I thought follow through would be good. Hmmm. Maybe l-4 is okay. one more beat in 5?
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| Re: a comment on First Love by Dovina |
3-Sep-05/6:40 AM |
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I DO! I DO! I DO! (skipping gayly around Zodiac)
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| Re: The Absense of God by Bluemonkey |
2-Sep-05/12:27 PM |
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Flight 2252, 757 heavy. You are cleared for take-off runway two-seven left.
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| Re: Baudelaire: The Albatross by Sasha |
2-Sep-05/12:22 PM |
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I have a chapbook of Baudelaire, Some poems from Le Fleurs Du Mal. Already translated of course. Honestly, whenever I make a comment on your poems, I feel like a dope. Completely unknowledgable. Useless. I hate that. I really do.
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| Re: First Love by Dovina |
2-Sep-05/12:16 PM |
Deeeeeeeee! please go for the beat and not the look.
....I wasn't winter-broken, though,
I thought that it would stay.
I hate using extra words too but the first three lines
hopscotch nicely.
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| Re: Urbane Jane by MacFrantic |
1-Sep-05/7:38 PM |
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| Re: Child Shaped Adult by http://mulberryfairy |
1-Sep-05/7:17 PM |
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OOOOOH!!! and the sub-poem too! wow.
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| Re: Child Shaped Adult by http://mulberryfairy |
1-Sep-05/7:16 PM |
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Good to see you're still at it! I miss god's wife. Don't you? This is really great, I love it.
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| Re: Falling by D. $ Fontera |
1-Sep-05/8:55 AM |
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Quit -the- din, i think would be better. Otherwise, I hope to see this in the top twenty soon.
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| Re: a comment on Dying breed by INTRANSIT |
31-Aug-05/10:00 AM |
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so I clean up -then- (them) and -waving-(weaving) and then its bridgs. GAH!
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| Re: The Right Thing To Do by Bethy |
31-Aug-05/8:20 AM |
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| Re: The Right Thing To Do by Bethy |
31-Aug-05/8:19 AM |
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spelling or comma in the last line.
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| Re: Intrusion by Sasha |
31-Aug-05/8:18 AM |
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I can't compete with this. But I'll try.
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| Re: a comment on The Right Thing To Do by Bethy |
31-Aug-05/6:32 AM |
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Nice to see you in top forme again, btw.
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| Re: a comment on Summer Song by wilco |
31-Aug-05/6:22 AM |
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that happens to me too.. apostroHER would have been interesting. lol.
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| Re: Summer Song by wilco |
31-Aug-05/6:21 AM |
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Snoop out the pimply parts and it'll roll.
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| Re: Katrina by jessicazee |
31-Aug-05/6:17 AM |
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I like the first and second stanzas. 3 needs its lines shuffled and delete the -the- in the fourth, this will connect the two. take a rasp to the english and the end seems to be dangling, unfinished, as if suddenly washed away. ees goot.
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| Re: a comment on Present, tense by INTRANSIT |
31-Aug-05/6:09 AM |
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Erm, no. But that's funny! And again I'm close to what I want to say here. damn.
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| Re: a comment on Geraldine Florentine, MD by T. Jonathron Remp |
30-Aug-05/3:30 PM |
I stand corrected.
You are an alien nut.
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| Re: Geraldine Florentine, MD by T. Jonathron Remp |
30-Aug-05/11:44 AM |
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