replying on Present, tense by INTRANSIT
30 Aug 2005, 11:34 AM
sposa be sad.
replying on Present, tense by INTRANSIT
30 Aug 2005, 5:01 AM
Yeah. I knew there was something that needed changing to make this work. the house is now a home.
on Out of a White Hole by ALChemy
29 Aug 2005, 5:51 AM
Ha! Universe inside the mind ! Love it !
on Shoestring Salutation by MacFrantic
28 Aug 2005, 8:01 AM
hallway sex.
on The Moment of Over by Bethy
28 Aug 2005, 7:59 AM
Um, aside from the hiccups in the beat ,it works.
replying on No More Autumn Poems (Edit) by Sasha
27 Aug 2005, 8:21 AM
Steely Dan / Bush literacy. ACE!!!!! I picked up a book by Cummings flipped it open and thought " my god! this is worse than the O'Hara I'm fumbling with!" and promptly put it back on the shelf. So, the upshot of this conversation is: Generally speaking, better poems have music in them. Thanks guys! 'Preciate your time.
replying on Tarragon by D. $ Fontera
26 Aug 2005, 6:56 AM
Mortar and pestle perhaps? I agree chasses has to go. But are we eating cooking or dancing here, um, perhaps it's (eat) that needs to go? Damn close though. Brings me back to Instructions to a sculptor by Christof.
replying on Quietus Proprietus by INTRANSIT
26 Aug 2005, 6:48 AM
Rephrase? Delete? Why? , of course. Thank you.
on Apollinaire: Mirabeau Bridge by Sasha
26 Aug 2005, 6:16 AM
I just went back and read Zodiacs- Come away with me Carly- and it seemed to echo the sound/rhythm of a villanelle. So does this, to me. Am I right? Or do I need therapy? :/
replying on With You at an Ancient Temple by Sasha
26 Aug 2005, 6:10 AM
Do you think i should strengthen the echoing sounds in -Quietus?
replying on Dear Lord, by INTRANSIT
25 Aug 2005, 10:32 AM
Thanks. I went through this about five times trying to get 8 syllables per line. I gave up and let my "ear" tell me what to do. I've wondered about a short caesura in that last line and I had a comma in it. You might be right.
on With You at an Ancient Temple by Sasha
25 Aug 2005, 8:56 AM
I read this several times to be sure I got the most out of it. Thank you for your time, Sasha.
on Wrapping a Gift by Dovina
24 Aug 2005, 3:28 PM
Who cares what he thinks anyway. I say, Cork Pumps and a pair of daisy dukes should do the trick!
replying on Quietus Proprietus by INTRANSIT
24 Aug 2005, 3:26 PM
And Christopher Reeves Thought he was superman till a bed-sore took him out.
replying on Quietus Proprietus by INTRANSIT
24 Aug 2005, 3:21 PM
you wanna get hit by a car? gawd I hope not lol.
on Wrapping a Gift by Dovina
24 Aug 2005, 3:19 PM
Yes this makes me happy.
on Wrapping a Gift by Dovina
24 Aug 2005, 2:58 PM
A bunch of no-nos. By that I mean you can just lose the beginning nos', the changes of mind.
replying on No More Autumn Poems (Edit) by Sasha
24 Aug 2005, 5:59 AM
Not your box. Saha's. Now, go ahead, ALChemy, chime in. I know you want to. I'm listening.
replying on No More Autumn Poems (Edit) by Sasha
24 Aug 2005, 5:57 AM
Pretentious? no. Precocious? No. Polyglot? YUP! But so is Pound. Now, what is it about non american/ english poetry that many poets feel is superior? Yes I'm Pounding again. I really don't care to continue writing the tripe I have been but being an O>T>R driver makes it difficult to get any kind of education. So I'm stuck in a difficult do-it-yourself place. Suggestions?
B) not "naughty bits" instead "bubbies"
C) Nice switch at the end