Re: This Is Me by PoeticXTC	3-Jan-06/2:07 PM
there appear to be some conflicting descriptions here, about a tight compact frame and yet a soft cushy tushy. strong hands worked to the bone, yet they would undoubtedly be a bit work, cut, and scarred from hard work, and i don't get the idea that your vision of them is as such. the part about the orthodonture work is refreshing; a part of the "perfection" that was coerced into existence rather than happening "naturally". the hint that there may be something wrong (last verse) is also good; very little is ever perfect inside and out. and maybe the real substance of this work is in the last line. if i may offer: edit the desciption down a bit, but expand on the "view from the outside in" and the bit about sin.
Re: The Stickmen of Fools by embersandenvelopes	3-Jan-06/2:47 PM
sounds like a reaction to a visual art installation at a museum. you know, the ones that are technology-based with scrolling signs and all, in contrast with the more "classic" painting art form. my overall impression is that you don't think to highly of the "newer"-style art, no? 7 for interesting sentiment.
Re: when i met sky alone by Prince of Void	3-Jan-06/3:15 PM
i will wait for the other parts before voting, but so far it feels a bit disjointed: first two lines read like an opening scene for a overly-dramatic "private-eye" novel, then it becomes personal and ethereal. the next two lines lead me to believe your neighbors made too much noise for you to finish writing...
Re: Privacy Compromised by Dovina	3-Jan-06/3:22 PM
huh. so you write from your bed, posting to a (this?)website as soon as you awake after a wild night partying at a gala event and rubbing elbows with those who pick apart your ideas and offer critique of your work. and you try to maintain a facade, a mask to hide behind lest they hurt the real you. that's what i get, anyway. so, who is Tom? <grin>
Re: Whipped (With Preface) by OneFingerAnswer	3-Jan-06/3:32 PM
aptly titled. i think the preface detracts from the haiku; the title alone with the poem would suffice.
Re: Goodbye Sad Door by woodstock20000	3-Jan-06/3:47 PM
i agree with Dovina, but maybe: "and so I continue to knock at the iron door will I never know his starlight again?" i tend to like the mystery and hope in that sort of ending. the imagination of each reader will keep the poem alive, rather than a clear finality ending it. the imagery is wonderful and my mind can see this door, perhaps even see the iron dust falling from one of the starlit slivers to the ground with each booming knock.
Re: Between the Edges by woodstock20000	3-Jan-06/3:50 PM
nice. very introspective. i like.
Re: You Have It Backwards by LilMsLadyPoet	4-Jan-06/6:59 AM
you use a lot of words to convey your premise, but if it is - as i suspect - a rant, that is forgivable. i also think that one point hidden in there is that a certain amount of wealth (somewhere between wealth and poverty, shall we say middle class?) allows for leisure time. it can be said that those with intelligence tend to spend their leisure time in some sort of artistic or inventive pursuit, thereby bearing the fruits of intelligence. the one who must constantly struggle (work several jobs to make ends meet, forage for food and shelter) will have very little spare time to bend their mind to "leisurely" pusuits. i agree that wealth does not beget intelligence. however, being of humble means myself, i do recognize that wealth does open many, many doors of opportunity to those who can pay for it. alternatively, as one who is neither minority nor immigrant nor poor nor female, i do see that in my country many who come here are offered more opportunity with fewer "strings attached" than i would ever be offered. does that mean they are more or less intelligent than i? more or less fortunate than i? or just more qualified to receive assistance than i because of many convoluted and - in my eyes - unjust principles that define our government. but to get back to your essay (?), i think it could benefit from more clearly constructed ideas and more succinct phrasing. in general, i do lean toward your side of the debate.
regarding some deleted poem...	4-Jan-06/7:37 AM
"willingly digested" does not seem to fit, after all of the "pushing you inside" and "standing sentry over the exit". and perhaps add a little something to the question at the end; it seems to not really be a question but more of a command. "Shall I, now?" or "Shall I, hmm? wonderfully dark without using gory detail. interestingly, i started a series of paintings at one time depicting "shells" of people, although throughout the series they became less of the shells and more substantive.
regarding some deleted poem...	4-Jan-06/7:42 AM
i like it and i dont care that it doesnt all have a smooth flow; maybe the "catch" is the part that doesn't? i am curious about the impenetrability factor of 8... what's all 'at about?
regarding some deleted poem...	4-Jan-06/7:47 AM
this isnt mine but i love to share it: best time to go to the dentist: 2:30
Re: Sunlighting by ALChemy	5-Jan-06/8:53 AM
a favorite now. thanks. very sweet, innocent, and lovely. a touch of melancholy, but a nice reminder of what is really important.
Re: The copper man and Labrador by Caducus	5-Jan-06/9:09 AM
sadly, a very common scene of today's world. the obscure references (so wonderfully deciphered by ALChemy) were a bit hard to follow. the mention of king george flipped me back in time and i was lost about the meaning of neon reapers. well done, very cerebral portrayal of events.
Re: Memoirs of a miners son by Caducus	5-Jan-06/9:14 AM
damn, that smarts. very excellent.
Re: A New Year Prayer by amanda_dcosta	9-Jan-06/10:42 AM
line 10: "Misfortune's been out friend;" (add the "'s") line 17: add a comma after "Lord", as in line 1. not my style poem, but a nice sentiment. i suppose the aetheists don't deserve a happy new year? it is, in my opinion, the danger of writing a prayer-type poem, i suppose. thanks and happy new year in return.
Re: What Matters by Dovina	9-Jan-06/10:49 AM
i think the sentiment that inspired this work outweighs the sentiment conveyed. i am guessing a budding artist's drawing for you is the subject. as someone commented on my attempt at Haiku, "sometimes 17 syllables isn't enough".
Re: Pledge by http://mulberryfairy	9-Jan-06/11:13 AM
i always wondered, who offers therapy to the therapist? i mean, some of the disturbing stuff that one may hear in a session, although clinically is not supposed to stick, does. and if the therapist is in a por mental health state, that would be dangerous... interesting piece on what i presume to be your work. must be frustrating to split off from yourself like that, but a neccessity at the same time.
Re: Flicking by INTRANSIT	9-Jan-06/11:23 AM
was this ammended/edited? some of the comments don't seem to make sense... i like this one, and after a couple of reads i get the thrill... specially liking the last 2 lines. p.s. yeah, i know the stallone movie. cheesy in my opinion.
Re: Reckoning by <~>	10-Jan-06/7:47 AM
could it be a crush? more likely a power struggle... dont have much time now, but will think on it. i can feel the frustration and anger, yet those emotions are delivered with the delicateness of one who is as you have written in the last verse. nicely done.
Re: The King Of Loserville by mindsigns	6-Mar-06/9:14 AM
not sure how to vote yet (still cogitating), but aptly titled.