on Get Over It by drnick
18 Jul 2006, 5:44 AM
The rhyming is good... and also the last lines. This time I see that you have a title for your poem.
on Intro by MacFrantic
17 Jul 2006, 4:17 AM
Cool.
replying on I'm Learning To Drive by amanda_dcosta
17 Jul 2006, 3:59 AM
Your brain ain't where it should be. ;-)
replying on I'm Learning To Drive by amanda_dcosta
16 Jul 2006, 6:41 PM
D , you have a way of saying things without actually saying them.
The stabs were well aimed and right on target. ;-)
Thanks for the look up on this poem again.
The stabs were well aimed and right on target. ;-)
Thanks for the look up on this poem again.
on I'm Learning To Drive by amanda_dcosta
16 Jul 2006, 8:22 AM
To those who have read and critiqued this poem...... sorry, but I accidently deleted this poem while trying to edit it.
on ENIGMA, WONDER, BEASTLINESS AND FURY by Gopakumar
15 Jul 2006, 7:01 PM
First of all... welcome to poemranker Gopakumar. Hope you enjoy this site and all the critiques that you'll come across.
To begin with this piece.... I don't fancy this sort of repetitive style much. However, I'll set that aside and say, that you've got an idea of what you want to write and it's presentation is fairly good.
To begin with this piece.... I don't fancy this sort of repetitive style much. However, I'll set that aside and say, that you've got an idea of what you want to write and it's presentation is fairly good.
on forever it was you by the indign
15 Jul 2006, 6:54 PM
Sounds very sweet and so in love. But I can't understand , if you were so in love how come you never did anything to prove it to her. and you've resigned yourself to that fate.... Think about it...it'slike you've never really done anything about it but watch her all the time.... maybe she needed more from you.
on PHOTO by madamefrufru
15 Jul 2006, 3:48 AM
This I must admit is much better than your previous post.
This has character and some good phrases. It is a good read.
This has character and some good phrases. It is a good read.
on Memories of modernism by madamefrufru
15 Jul 2006, 3:44 AM
This reads more like a summary-in-a-nut-shell piece. Or in fact it doesn't read much like a poem. You've got what you want to present, but in my opinion, your presentation needs fixing.
on up upon by the indign
14 Jul 2006, 6:28 PM
Cool.
on To Athena by cleverdevice
14 Jul 2006, 6:23 PM
Wonderfully worded.
replying on I hate making titles by drnick
14 Jul 2006, 12:07 PM
:-)
replying on Inside You by creepshow
14 Jul 2006, 5:51 AM
By the way, I like the last line.
on Inside You by creepshow
14 Jul 2006, 5:51 AM
A cry of desparation! You've brought it out well.
on I hate making titles by drnick
14 Jul 2006, 5:47 AM
A nice scene, the trees.. the shadows...
It's cool how you emphasize on a few things and make a poem out of it. It would be better with a title though.
It's cool how you emphasize on a few things and make a poem out of it. It would be better with a title though.
on The Lonesome Loser by Dovina
13 Jul 2006, 4:47 AM
It is so pathetic to see that you managed to get only three votes over a period of three days.... Are we the only ones who log onto PR? I wish there was something we could do about it.
on For My Muse by woodstock20000
12 Jul 2006, 4:04 AM
I don't quite get it... It's like very vague.
on The Lonesome Loser by Dovina
12 Jul 2006, 4:00 AM
He definitely deserves to be called a loser.
on Through a childs eyes by little_angel_maria
8 Jul 2006, 10:18 AM
As I started reading the beginning of this poem I was immediately reminded of Phil Colin's song 'Another Day In Paradise'. I'm tempted to believe you took your story from there. Excuse me if I'm wrong.
And I can't understand how conveniently this poor girl could suddenly find place during the day but at night she had none. Ref is to the line,
'this girl of the night cannot be seen so
she finds somewhere to hide,'
I am not overly impressed with your presentation. You have good potential at writing, and you need to polish your talent. Like Dovina has stated, shorten your lines and get the beat flowing. You'll be amazed by what you can do.
And I can't understand how conveniently this poor girl could suddenly find place during the day but at night she had none. Ref is to the line,
'this girl of the night cannot be seen so
she finds somewhere to hide,'
I am not overly impressed with your presentation. You have good potential at writing, and you need to polish your talent. Like Dovina has stated, shorten your lines and get the beat flowing. You'll be amazed by what you can do.