P.S. I think this could go as lyrics

I hope this edition will prove itself more favorable than the original post. Read on and enjoy!

I think this is well written and I especially like the last lines of each stanza, esp. the repetitions.

Not too bad. It's pretty simple and I think goes along common time. I tried putting a tune to it and must say that it passes for a song though, if following precise rhythms, it doesn't fit in. I think I could give you a -7- safetly.

I bet you know this one...

"I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden
along with the sunshine
you're gonna need a little rain sometime."
(Song--Rose Garden by Linda Anderson, or so)

Dovina, Frankly, this reminds me to a similar piece posted on poemranker before. I don't know if it's yours or if its an edit of a previous piece, but it looks too familiar. It has an amusing tone to it, but not too impressive.

Ranger, I need to read this more clearly during the day.
It's 00:40 hrs now and I'm quite tired. Sorry for no vote now. I did read it, and it looks interesting, but am unable to be specific right now.

Lovely. I just have a vague idea of what a sonnetis especially the rhyming scheme, which I think you have stuck to, and apart from that, the content is good. I especially liked the third verse, the line...'A holocaust of car exhaust as brutal boots crashed down'.

I am colorblind, so I will wait for the tulips..... what has colorblind to look forward to in tulips, definitely not the varying hues? I'm sorry, I might have got it wrong, but I haven't yet got the jist of this poem. I might be reading this with a different view, so pls don't take this personally. And may be a bit of punctuations could do , as in, "are the apparitions". Period. Line 8.

Ha ha ha. This is what I think you would call selective deafness and being paranoid at the same time. Ah yes, scrolling down, I see that my impression has already been impressed upon by others. This is lovely. I wonder how many of us fit into this category. You ofcourse, have qualified.

You could be the ambassador for the Green House/ environmentalists' Groups. I like the poem for it's beautiful imagery that portrays a very urgent call, to protect nature all around us, not just River Sowe.

'Her petroleum eyes' is one of the best phrases you've put in this piece. Good work.

Bleeding Rose, there are quite contridictory ideas coming through. MAybe , you should edit it to either a love mood or to a hate mood. By you mixing the two, we are not sure what you want to emphasise on. Being specific gives you additional points.

And I really wonder who this jerk is, going around giving a zero to all your poems. Maybe he needs a double dose of his own medicine.

I think I have to agree with Ranger on the lines 4 and 5. You have pretty good imagery as has already been commented, but I am not one quite familiar with war settings. I mean, I don't particularly take note of such details, but I do have to give it to you. - 8 -

Huh?

Which President do you want to be.... George Bush?

Think again buddy, you might really be inviting a 'kick me kick me'.

Other than that,... I like it.

A very interesting piece, quite to my liking.

Dovina, I really admire the way you have your poems ready, one after the other, and am sorry to say that I haven't given much of them their due credit. Wish I had more time. Am awfully busy. Shifting next week.
I read this a couple of days ago and reminded my self to come back to it. I like it.

drnick, I came upon this accidentally, and was quite `happy I did. This is pretty good giving a very Utopian feeling. You, capturing the mood in words, need commending. Good job.

Hi Ranger, truthfully, I still don't get what your poem is about. Having a rough idea is not enough. Sorry to disappoint. I refrain from voting.

Very heartfelt and beautiful. I'd like it too if there was enough punctuation. And the partial rhyme scheme is distracting. Nevertheless, I think you deserve nothing less than an 8.

Ranger, your description makes it now more clear. It's more like Jesus' dialogue to silent Judas. The idea and imagery are good, the portrayal of the tree and the caterpillar is fantastic. Your usage of the english language is beautiful. You never fail to amaze me on the various beautiful phrases you adopt or invent, (if that could be said of it.) On the whole I give it an -8-. marks for ...statuesque as a memory, What will your wings resemble when you appear from this web?, Needle-wire undead tree....

The last two lines give it a beautiful finish.