DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Seizures

Member since 2006 · Posted 18 May 2006 · 12 comments

Miniature seizures all throughout the day and landscapes of black and white. I am tired again as the sun waltzes over my head making a bow. The little things: the tulips at the store like porcelain, sky strained of all fogged impurities, old pictures of smiling dogs that were my Huskies, proud and piercing, are the apparitions I breathe deep. I don't want to be called 'delicate,' 'fragile'. I am not pregnant nor china. I will see the sun justly in it's yellow and will adore it...but for now I wait for the small glories to bloom in the morning; I am colorblind, so I will wait for the tulips and leave this static for the weak.

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12 comments

[6] amanda_dcosta 18-May-06/11:04 AM Reply

I am colorblind, so I will wait for the tulips..... what has colorblind to look forward to in tulips, definitely not the varying hues? I'm sorry, I might have got it wrong, but I haven't yet got the jist of this poem. I might be reading this with a different view, so pls don't take this personally. And may be a bit of punctuations could do , as in, "are the apparitions". Period. Line 8.

[n/a] Sunny › amanda_dcosta 20-May-06/7:21 AM Reply

Sorry for the confusion about the different COLORED tulips, I was talking about the white one's...The jist of this poem is simply a view of how I see the world after a certain diagnosis (check title), & how it has effected me mentally.

~Sunny

[7] Caducus 19-May-06/2:49 AM Reply

lose a few of the and's then you have yourself a good poem

[7] Dovina 19-May-06/5:13 PM Reply

"Tulips like porcelain" is good. But seizures? How so? The last line refers to a non-weak person. How are old pictures apparitions? Otherwise, some good lines.

[n/a] Sunny › Dovina 20-May-06/7:26 AM Reply

Glad you got the tulips like porcelain part. I am speaking of a diagnosis & how I view the world from my eyes, an inward look out, if you will. Old pictures are apparitions because they reflect ghosts in them that once lived...is this of any explanation to you Dovina??

~Sunny

[7] Dovina › Sunny 20-May-06/9:06 AM Reply

Yes, but I can only comment on the poem, not your explanation of it.

[7] ALChemy 20-May-06/3:07 AM Reply

Sounds good. I have no idea what it means.

[n/a] Sunny › ALChemy 20-May-06/7:18 AM Reply

Thanks for commenting on the fact that you think it sounds good. It's about a diagnosis, & how I saw the world at that moment...however, in the end, it sends off with an up note stating I will leave that gloom 'for the weak'.

~Sunny

[8] deleted user 20-May-06/2:06 PM Reply

My brother suffers seizures so I see where your coming from. Caducus is right, losing some of the ands will make this better.

[7] wilco 22-May-06/8:49 PM Reply

Never had a seizure, so I don't know..it sounds all right to me (the poem, not having seizures).

[9] Ranger 1-Jun-06/6:13 AM Reply

Made me think of an elderly yet defiant lady (old pictures, 'tired again', porcelain etc.) perhaps having just had an operation on her eyes ('sky strained of all fogged impurities'). Alternatively it could be someone who's just died after a long illness and is seeing the world clearly as a spectre.
*reads comments*
Okay, so I was half right. You bring good description to it - is it important to you that we see it as someone young talking? If so, it needs to be just a little clearer.

'I am tired again as the sun waltzes over my head making a bow' is utterly gorgeous. Possibly my favourite line of recent times.

[n/a] Sunny › Ranger 1-Jun-06/2:24 PM Reply

Ranger,
I do admire your mind & the interpretation that flow out of it as well...I am a laid back individual & write flexibly enough for the wondering mind, for readers that posess such. But, no, I was speaking of my actual own life & I'm not dead yet & am only 23, although you were very right in seeing into the way this makes me feel sometimes - old, tired; I want the reader to feel, at least see that I have not made peace as an elderly person might with the side affects of their age, but rather describe it with a grey soberness, a mood that an intune reader will pick up from this poem, leading them to believe I speak of the subject as unexpected, something that isn't welcome, but still apart of me.

~Sunny