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Cat Feet (Free verse) by Niphredil Everyone has grown cat feet.
Slinking up behind me,
Tiptoeing along the padded floors,
Even the windows swing shut in cushioned frames
Which never creak or slam.
Poor things!
Their expressions are bent out of shape.
How often they contort their exaggerated faces
In a sweaty, good-natured endeavor
To be of assistance.
And then they back away, uneasily damp.
But I donât mind.
After all, what more could one expect
From those poor, nervous people
With cat feet?
Up the ladder:
The Runaway
Down the ladder:
Eyes
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.285714
Posted: March 29, 2006 2:44 PM PST; Last modified: March 29, 2006 2:44 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.614723 Overall Rank: 2247 Comments:
Knowing what you have said about the narrator, this makes a lot of sense. Without knowing that, it would slip past me like a quiet cat. Perhaps you could hint with something like, "ears or not, I know you're there."
Arrrg. You're perfectly right. I simply really tried to avoid saying *the D-word*...but I guess it'll have to be clarified.
I completely missed the deafness in here, i was thinking of people being deliberately quiet so as not to disturb someone who they think is asleep (maybe terminal in a hospital). It's a good poem without the explanation, but it's a super poem with it.
This is nice but the use of "cat feet" constantly reminds me of the Carl Sandburg poem "Fog"
Fog The fog comes on little cat feet. It sits looking over harbor and city on silent haunches and then moves on.
Yes. I was about to say that. Sorry, Niphredil, that phrase is permanently spoken for.
<bangs head on wall>. I think I'll switch to 'aardvark feet'. or 'platypus feet'. Those make for excellent poetic phrases and I bet nobody's used them before.
Seriously though, would it help if I switched to 'cat paws'? It seems a little awkward.
It would help if you thought of something truly original to describe things happening quietly.
'It was quiet, like the clattering of non-existent saucepans'.
"like zodiac trying to figure which way Mecca is from fairbanks"
Double yawn.
East by southeast, or about 292 degrees south azimuth. Carry on.
"It was quiet like the conquering worm". Nope, shit, that one's been taken too.
I wonder, if I was to change the first line to a stanza:
"They tell me that I can't hear anymore. And I think, how silly; Can't they see that, lately, Everyone has grown cat feet."
Yes, I'd agree that it works better like that - it needs the explanation that is offered in that stanza.
Ha ha ha. This is what I think you would call selective deafness and being paranoid at the same time. Ah yes, scrolling down, I see that my impression has already been impressed upon by others. This is lovely. I wonder how many of us fit into this category. You ofcourse, have qualified.
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Incidentally, have you ever noticed those terrible facial exaggerations that people make when talking to a person who is hard of hearing? As if an invisible someone was stretching their expressions just a teensy bit more than they ought.