Re: Time Thief by Dovina	30-Mar-06/12:24 PM
Your a southern girl so procrastination is in your blood. I have no excuse for why I procrastinate. If only I were a pothead.
Re: Cat Feet by Niphredil	30-Mar-06/12:30 PM
This is nice but the use of "cat feet" constantly reminds me of the Carl Sandburg poem "Fog" Fog The fog comes on little cat feet. It sits looking over harbor and city on silent haunches and then moves on.
Re: Old Friend by drnick	30-Mar-06/1:21 PM
I like this alot but the last line seems like it's just a filler. Everything else is so personal and sincere that the last line with it's cliche`ness comes across like a Halmark card. Maybe something like "Is as surely as your distance grows".
Re: Because You Love Me by amanda_dcosta	31-Mar-06/9:51 AM
This is very sweet like Zodiac said but you might want to think of a slightly different title and phrase than "Because you love me" because Celine Dion has a hit song by the same name. I assume this is a poem to God. Which I like because of my prior arguments that believing in God is simular to being in love. 8 for now but more if you change the title/phrase slightly.
Re: A Country Anecdote by Dovina	31-Mar-06/10:03 AM
I ask you a simple question and you give me some of the best stuff I've read in quite a while. See, I told you your replies are ace. 10+
regarding some deleted poem...	1-Apr-06/11:39 AM
I bet your real passion is story telling. Your style seems to show that. You border on prose in much of your work. I would love to see this as a complimentary poem attached to the end of the story of what took place prior to this. Not your best though.
Re: The Unforgiven II by alvinb	1-Apr-06/1:45 PM
I suppose you're hoping Lars will throw another press conference and announce that he's suing you like he did Napster. Good luck with that. My vote's this: "lO" It's not a real ten but a copy of a ten.
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Apr-06/12:48 PM
"Miso horny!" I couldn't resist the Full Metal Jacket quote.
Re: Pastoral Care (Psalm 23 revisited) by Dovina	3-Apr-06/1:19 PM
You start off great, with a natural voice and nice half rhyming but then you start Yoda talking and your rhymes get a little forced in the second half. Make the second half look a little more like the first half and I'll ace you.
Re: Explorations Underground by ecargo	3-Apr-06/2:11 PM
Amon? Did you know color was very symbolic to Ancient Egyptians. Here, I found you a link: http://www.egyptianmyths.net/colors.htm
Re: Blackout, Amman, November, 2005 by zodiac	6-Apr-06/5:55 PM
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out. -from Richard Hall's Sniglets: Words that don't appear in the dictionary, but should.
Re: Good old days by amanda_dcosta	7-Apr-06/6:59 AM
The second stanza is jolting because, as Dovina said, it doesn't fit with the rest of the poem. Lose the last stanza, it's not needed. Being vague sometimes can make your poem more applicable to other peoples situations and thus more easy for them to identify with it. The thought of the last line in the poem is already in the readers head before they actually see it. So if you take away the last line the sentiment will still be there without you having to actually say it. One of the best things about poetry is when somrthing is said without actually being said.
Re: Inbetween Lovers/Blueprint by Ranger	7-Apr-06/4:49 PM
I sensed a tinge of angst in this but it wasn't corny like those teeny-bopper poems, it was just enough to make the reader feel the youthfulness in the love poem. She'll like it I think. It's like a modern Romeo and Juliet minus the suicidal crazy love stuff.
Re: Maybe I Wasn’t Born on a Fool’s Day by Dovina	10-Apr-06/3:41 PM
"B-b-b-b-b-baaad, b-b-b-b-b-bad, bad to the bone..." Nice Blues. :)
Re: Letting go by Caducus	11-Apr-06/5:48 AM
I think you might need some commas but maybe you meant to do omit them. Some of it gets a little hokey but some of the images like the last one are gems. Extra points for teaching me something about botany.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Apr-06/6:12 AM
The real killers shot themselves in the library with no prom queen. Although Colonel Mustard may have been near by.
Re: Genesis by Dovina	12-Apr-06/8:25 AM
I think I'll just sit back and watch this one if you don't mind.
Re: a dream by lmp	12-Apr-06/4:13 PM
A few minor nitpicks. Don't use "grassy knoll", it harks back to JFK's assasination. "Grassy mound" would work fine. Change "looked" to "seemed". The word look can be the act of looking or it can be just appearing to be and that duality in the word can for a second stumble the reader's train of thought. I think you meant "she waved HER arm" in the last stanza. Otherwise I think this is a very sweet fable and I can imagine telling this as a bedtime story to my niece. Yes, very heartwarming me thinks.
Re: jay by ecargo	13-Apr-06/12:08 PM
The fact that the bird does his bowing so prematurely in the poem(I mean you hardly had time to enjoy him) leads me to think this is a well disguised metaphor for those 2 minute men that women are always talking about. ;D Are you sure line 4 needs no puntuation?
Re: metadata by digipoet	13-Apr-06/12:15 PM
Who knows, this could be the start of the next big poetry movement. You got any Pikachu haikus up your sleeve?