Letting go

Member since 2002 · Posted 19 Dec 2002 · Edited 11 Apr 2006 · 3 comments

She was my nettle and dock leaf my dinner break thoughts on the swings and slides, my Math class interruption and every sunset shadow. Not anymore. She was a veil of grey velvet a tangible illusion the warmth in blood calm storm cigarette starlet and now she and i are everything without each other are miserable happy and i resemble the head of a roman statue decapitated staring at my body being leered on by love tourists.

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mean 5.75 weighted 5.09 rank 6246 views 395 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

3 comments

[n/a] Caducus 11-Apr-06/3:09 AM Reply

a change of style for me.

[9] ALChemy 11-Apr-06/5:48 AM Reply

I think you might need some commas but maybe you meant to do omit them. Some of it gets a little hokey but some of the images like the last one are gems. Extra points for teaching me something about botany.

[8] Dovina 11-Apr-06/12:45 PM Reply

I almost laughed at the ending - the old-time style of it. The rest has some pretty good lines, but I don't think the funny spacing helps.