Replying to a comment on:

Letting go (Free verse) by Caducus

She was my nettle and dock leaf my dinner break thoughts on the swings and slides, my Math class interruption and every sunset shadow. Not anymore. She was a veil of grey velvet a tangible illusion the warmth in blood calm storm cigarette starlet and now she and i are everything without each other are miserable happy and i resemble the head of a roman statue decapitated staring at my body being leered on by love tourists.

ALChemy 11-Apr-06/5:48 AM
I think you might need some commas but maybe you meant to do omit them. Some of it gets a little hokey but some of the images like the last one are gems. Extra points for teaching me something about botany.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001