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Time Thief (Free verse) by Dovina Procrastination steals no time,
not like wivesâ tales say.
Punctualityâs to blame.
Early arrival wastes time waiting.
Late comers get more sleep,
stay up later,
watch cartoons,
draw defecations,
defacing
some Islamic patriarch.
If time is short, slow down;
if plentiful, speed.
In slowness, few mistakes.
In speed, abundant blunders.
Fixing errors kills your time.
People whoâve come as far as I
donât slow down so much to rest
as to speed to where theyâre going,
having learned along the way,
mistakes are the thieves of time.
Up the ladder:
Caducus (destined to fall)
Down the ladder:
Interstellar Hell
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.285714
Posted: March 28, 2006 6:53 PM PST; Last modified: March 28, 2006 6:53 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.345782 Overall Rank: 3417 Comments:
Good idea, but it's a little dull--Poor Richard's without the wit. The Danish cartoon reference is disconnected and a little silly.
I had to up my vote because I kept thinking about this last night and that says, to me, that something's working well. It is a clever idea in an aphorism kind of way--like I said, it reminds me of Franklin's Poor Richard's Almanac. http://pages.prodigy.net/jmiller.cb/prs1
The Danish cartoons (http://www.zombietime.com/mohammed_imag
The cartoon diversion is no more than a fun way to show how much more we can do if we stop hurrying. Youâre right, it doesnât belong there.
I was inspired to write this admittedly didactic aphorism to counter slogans like Poor Richardâs, âEmploy thy time well, if thou meanest to gain leisure.â It seems to me that most such proverbs are too simplistic to be of much value. Thanks for raising your vote and for the comments.
Your a southern girl so procrastination is in your blood. I have no excuse for why I procrastinate. If only I were a pothead.
If you mean Southern California, then southern I am. And coffee is in my blood.
You're not from Tennesee?
Read "Divorcing Tennessee" to find out what it was like moving from there to California. I have another poem about that traumatic time ready to post, but must wait the obligatory five hours.
I think I liked your 'fishy' poem better. This seems a bit disconnected on the whole and I wasn't really impressed compared to quite a few writes of yours. Probably you aught ot edit it , although I don't know exactly how. I'm still not clear on what you had in mind while writing this.
The weird half-rhymes in the first stanza are good. The repetition of "time" at the ends of lines is not. Nor is the digression about Islamic cartoonists. The last stanza's tidy, didactic, silly, Benjamin Franklinesque, and unnecessary if you'd done your job in the first four stanzas.
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just lacks it for the most part. Sorry.