| regarding some deleted poem... |
25-Jun-06/8:05 AM |
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| Re: A Little War Victim by amanda_dcosta |
25-Jun-06/8:16 AM |
Powerful stuff.
The last two lines are a little hard to understand. Do you mean something like "or else I'll be one of those lost to history"?
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| Re: Southern Baptist Redneck Song by Edna Sweetlove |
25-Jun-06/8:20 AM |
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| Re: Fallen Charub by Dovina |
30-Jun-06/10:53 AM |
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2 dozen roses mailed to the address of Dovina Goddess of the Grey-blue ocean of poetry.
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| Re: Patio 95 by ecargo |
30-Jun-06/2:22 PM |
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| Re: Goliath by amanda_dcosta |
2-Jul-06/1:39 AM |
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| Re: O say, can you see? by Dovina |
3-Jul-06/5:35 AM |
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The poem sounds like a battle along some border but I have no idea what border battle you're implying. Still I like the beat poet intensity of it's cadence.
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| Re: Higher education by ecargo |
3-Jul-06/5:58 AM |
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I think I like it but it's probably because I'm reading the last verse as sexual innuendo.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
3-Jul-06/6:09 AM |
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That explains why all the good poets are dead.
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| Re: sayndewicches by FreeFormFixation |
3-Jul-06/6:13 AM |
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Caught the moment just right. Like reading Dr Suess on a bad acid trip.
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| Re: August 23, 1944 - 102 miles west of Paris by Ranger |
3-Jul-06/6:18 AM |
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Just watched "Saving Private Ryan" didn't you? Captured the end quite well and with few words.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
5-Jul-06/2:55 PM |
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Eventually couples can no longer function as seperate personalities. You begin to forget where you start and she ends like mental Siamese twins. It's natural to resist surrendering your individuality but the oldest couples tend to be the ones that succumb to this duel osmosis and just accept that there is no longer any "me" only "us".
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| Re: Orca by Dovina |
7-Jul-06/11:12 AM |
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He's going under to free Willy.
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| Re: PHOTO by madamefrufru |
7-Jul-06/11:18 AM |
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The last stanza seems a little strange but the rest is good. I like your unlikely word choices.
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| Re: Joshua And Ruth by amanda_dcosta |
8-Jul-06/2:45 AM |
"Suffer the little children to come unto Me, and forbid them not, for of such is the Kingdom of God."
Children will always remind us of what really matters.
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| Re: of Arabia by ecargo |
12-Jul-06/7:55 AM |
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Nicely written but to the epicness of the picture is lost in such a short poem. The second stanza should be stanza 10 and not 2.
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| Re: The Lonesome Loser by Dovina |
12-Jul-06/8:05 AM |
"He scans the walls
for someone who might,
bends forward againâ
maybe tonight." -Haha, does this mean he's gay? Just Kiddin'.
It's really good actually. You feel sympathetic and understand the loser's possition when you read the poem but also you still feel like he's a loser.
Very nice sketch of a complex personality.
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| Re: An Affair with Letters by MacFrantic |
12-Jul-06/9:10 AM |
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Would have made Poe grin.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
12-Jul-06/10:07 AM |
This is a great idea but instead of telling us directly what the metaphors are just paint us a scene.
Staring through the ropes eye
the blue sky like his master's eyes,
The silver laced clouds
like coins piled in a bag.
Now he held the coins
He was the bag with rope
wrapped around it's throat
tightly to secure the purse,
to hide the traitor's treasure,
to shroud his shame.
He let go of the limb
outstretched with nail protruding
at the end most likely left
by some carpenter or an early
Roman crucifixion.
The rope rubbed against the nail
as it swung him like the satchel of coins
that the old priest held before him
not but a few days ago.
He tried to cry out "Forgive me"
but the rope held in his bargaining
lodging it in his throat.
And as the twilight approached
a vagrant orphan observed on the mound
the body of Judas swinging, still swinging
when from the ground a theif emerged
with dagger in hand and sliced
into the dead man's abdomine
letting fall the insides of Judas
like so many coins from a torn satchel
into the hole the demon had made
another bounty to fill the pockets
of hell...
And the deranged orphan smiled
for he had at least stolen
one of The Lord's jewels.
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| Re: count the photos by the indign |
12-Jul-06/10:12 AM |
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