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Patio 95 (Free verse) by ecargo As it runs through its repertoire,
that flashing mimic bird moving
from hit to hit
smoothly, counterpoint
the trees talk of storms
rolling in from the dark west,
the black locusts swaying,
heavy and hushed
and these hours of ease (unease)
come undone, and even I-95's
sullen roar sounds
like wind rising
like a sea.
Up the ladder:
Poor Unwritten Rabbit
Down the ladder:
Your True War Story
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 9.714286
Posted: June 30, 2006 1:19 PM PDT; Last modified: June 30, 2006 1:21 PM PDTWeighted score: 6.2678666 Overall Rank: 914 Comments:
[10]
ALChemy @ 71.75.188.128
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30-Jun-06/2:22 PM
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Reply
Nice to see you around.
This is extremely effective as a 'waiting-and-foreboding' piece, stanza 2 in particular. 'Flashing mimic bird', 'dark west', 'black locusts'. All excellent. But, dammit, I've used reference to wind & sea in the poem I was going to submit today...I think I'll leave it for a while...
All round top stuff as is to be expected and like ALChemy says, I'm glad to see you around :-)
I might as well post it, actually. We lost on penalties, therefore I no longer care for life, let alone poetry.
Ah, poor Ranger. ;) I hope you emerge, unbowed, from the pit of athletic despair. Or at least get a poem out of it.
Hiyas, folks.
e-cargo... where have you been? I missed seeing you on PR. Good to see you around here now.... so howz life been and what's new other than this poem.
Damn, I really like this and don't even know why.
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