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of Arabia (Free verse) by ecargo
I (Love and Celluloid) His brown hands folded against the pommel of his camel's saddle; long tracks along the golden ridges; a veiled sky, and the long, dark eyes of a Sheik, Sharif, charade, and I, my mother's daughter, every foolish mother's daughter. II Watch: its desert pelt sprawled golden, reddening, and every foolish dream reeling (but this is fantasy, an overture that lasts too long). Reality should be sharp, a far ridge, not that filmy sky, that mask, mirage. I want to believe in that golden day, that sweep of Arabia, reckless and dying, but the frame is curling, the world is burning, not gallant, broken.

Down the ladder: The Dreamer

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Arithmetic Mean: 9.285714
Weighted score: 6.152606
Overall Rank: 1059
Posted: July 8, 2006 9:37 PM PDT; Last modified: July 8, 2006 9:37 PM PDT
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Comments:
[9] Ranger @ 86.131.56.78 | 8-Jul-06/10:09 PM | Reply
Hey ecargo, this is a flying early-morning visit so bear with me if I make no sense here. Breakfast, tea and poemranker - what a combination. Argh, and now I'm eating my own hair. Great. Anyhoo, I love this piece (first stanza of verse II in particular). A couple of questions though: line 6 I think should read 'Sheikh' (not certain that it has to be spelled that way though). Not sure that 'overture' fits quite right with the theme of the piece - to me it carries overbearing connotations of Western culture rather than Arabic. Also, is a far ridge sharp? I'd have pictured it as less so if it's in a desert setting (heat haze and all that jazz).
Well, must go. Great read, will catch you later I hope. Peace.
[n/a] ecargo @ 167.219.88.140 > Ranger | 10-Jul-06/9:37 AM | Reply
"Sheik" is the U.S. spelling (you Brits and all of those extra letters!). This is (in a literal sense, anyway) about/inspired by the movie _Lawrence of Arabia_, which has an overture in the middle that last too long (IMO), but I also meant that the fantasy has lasted too long (for the person in the poem, and maybe in a wider sense). I tried to put specific references to the movie (, the title, Sharif, filmy, "Watch:", etc.). Of course, I meant it to be about more than just the film. ;) Thanks for the comments, Ranger!
[9] Ranger @ 86.131.57.151 > ecargo | 12-Jul-06/12:16 AM | Reply
I assumed it was themed around the film - but I haven't watched Lawrence of Arabia since I was about 12, and as my concentration span then was about...ooh...five minutes (in the intervening time it's incresed to six minutes and forty-seven seconds) the chance of me remembering any details other than sand and camels is zero. I still feel that 'overture' isn't quite appropriate - technically correct, yes, but even so...
As for 'Sheikh', well we have to spell it that way so as to discourage terrible puns about Arabs at McDonalds and strawberry sheiks.
[9] ALChemy @ 209.23.202.76 > Ranger | 12-Jul-06/7:51 AM | Reply
Actually I prefer to spell it "Chaka Khan" http://www.chakakhan.com/
[n/a] ecargo @ 167.219.88.140 > ALChemy | 12-Jul-06/9:50 AM | Reply
Excellent! I was ridiculously psyched that Chaka has a site. ;-D

Chaka Khan, let me rock you
Let me rock you, Chaka Khan
Let me rock you, that's all I wanna do
Chaka Khan, let me rock you
Let me rock you, Chaka Khan
Let me rock you, 'cause I feel for you
Chaka Khan, won't you tell me what you wanna do
Do you feel for me the way I feel for you
[9] ALChemy @ 209.23.202.76 > ecargo | 14-Jul-06/9:58 PM | Reply
She just got inducted into the Black Entertainment hall of fame.
On a less happy note BET just cancelled it's most important contribution to society. I speak of none other than the unforgetable, undeniably uncensored "BET Uncut" Featuring thong donned beauties gyrating to such hits as "Werk Dat Twerk Dat" "What's that thing smell like?" "Booty Poppin'" and "I's a Pimp, You's A Trick". We will miss you "Uncut". Whatever will we do Thursday through Saturday at 3am to replace you?
[9] Dovina @ 17.255.240.6 | 10-Jul-06/10:56 AM | Reply
The opening scene is movie-like and vivid, a desert setting with golden hills of sand, and a daughter I'm ready to read more about (Part I).

Then, the Lawrence-of-Arabia country becomes another place, which I would not have got from the poem alone. Still, there are doubtless daughters there who hold these thoughts. Nicely said.
[9] ALChemy @ 209.23.202.76 | 12-Jul-06/7:55 AM | Reply
Nicely written but to the epicness of the picture is lost in such a short poem. The second stanza should be stanza 10 and not 2.
[n/a] ecargo @ 167.219.88.140 > ALChemy | 12-Jul-06/9:53 AM | Reply
Interesting point. I suppose I was thinking more in terms of the romanticism of the picture than its epicness. But it is the sheer sweep and scope of it that blows me away, as much as anything.

But I don't do 10 stanza poems all that often (though now I'm going to post an older long one just to make you read 30 stanzas, and then you'll likely agree that I stick to short poems for a reason (lack of attention span and lightweight drinking habits? Maybe.).

Thanks for the comment/vote.
[8] drnick @ 69.215.254.240 | 14-Jul-06/12:19 PM | Reply
All too true is the second to last stanza. Rock the casbah.
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