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of Arabia (Free verse) by ecargo I (Love and Celluloid)
His brown hands folded against
the pommel of his camel's saddle;
long tracks along the golden
ridges; a veiled sky,
and the long, dark eyes
of a Sheik, Sharif, charade,
and I, my mother's daughter,
every foolish mother's daughter.
II
Watch: its desert pelt
sprawled golden, reddening,
and every foolish dream reeling
(but this is fantasy,
an overture that lasts too long).
Reality should be sharp,
a far ridge,
not that filmy sky,
that mask, mirage.
I want to believe in that golden day,
that sweep of Arabia,
reckless and dying,
but the frame is curling,
the world is burning,
not gallant,
broken.
Up the ladder:
Mi Casa es Su Casa
Down the ladder:
Incommunicado blues (fixed, except for Dovina)
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 9.285714
Posted: July 8, 2006 9:37 PM PDT; Last modified: July 8, 2006 9:37 PM PDTWeighted score: 6.152606 Overall Rank: 1057 Comments:
The opening scene is movie-like and vivid, a desert setting with golden hills of sand, and a daughter I'm ready to read more about (Part I).
Then, the Lawrence-of-Arabia country becomes another place, which I would not have got from the poem alone. Still, there are doubtless daughters there who hold these thoughts. Nicely said.
Nicely written but to the epicness of the picture is lost in such a short poem. The second stanza should be stanza 10 and not 2.
Interesting point. I suppose I was thinking more in terms of the romanticism of the picture than its epicness. But it is the sheer sweep and scope of it that blows me away, as much as anything.
But I don't do 10 stanza poems all that often (though now I'm going to post an older long one just to make you read 30 stanzas, and then you'll likely agree that I stick to short poems for a reason (lack of attention span and lightweight drinking habits? Maybe.). Thanks for the comment/vote.
All too true is the second to last stanza. Rock the casbah.
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Well, must go. Great read, will catch you later I hope. Peace.
As for 'Sheikh', well we have to spell it that way so as to discourage terrible puns about Arabs at McDonalds and strawberry sheiks.
Chaka Khan, let me rock you
Let me rock you, Chaka Khan
Let me rock you, that's all I wanna do
Chaka Khan, let me rock you
Let me rock you, Chaka Khan
Let me rock you, 'cause I feel for you
Chaka Khan, won't you tell me what you wanna do
Do you feel for me the way I feel for you
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