Replying to a comment on:

of Arabia (Free verse) by ecargo

I (Love and Celluloid) His brown hands folded against the pommel of his camel's saddle; long tracks along the golden ridges; a veiled sky, and the long, dark eyes of a Sheik, Sharif, charade, and I, my mother's daughter, every foolish mother's daughter. II Watch: its desert pelt sprawled golden, reddening, and every foolish dream reeling (but this is fantasy, an overture that lasts too long). Reality should be sharp, a far ridge, not that filmy sky, that mask, mirage. I want to believe in that golden day, that sweep of Arabia, reckless and dying, but the frame is curling, the world is burning, not gallant, broken.

Ranger 8-Jul-06/10:09 PM
Hey ecargo, this is a flying early-morning visit so bear with me if I make no sense here. Breakfast, tea and poemranker - what a combination. Argh, and now I'm eating my own hair. Great. Anyhoo, I love this piece (first stanza of verse II in particular). A couple of questions though: line 6 I think should read 'Sheikh' (not certain that it has to be spelled that way though). Not sure that 'overture' fits quite right with the theme of the piece - to me it carries overbearing connotations of Western culture rather than Arabic. Also, is a far ridge sharp? I'd have pictured it as less so if it's in a desert setting (heat haze and all that jazz).
Well, must go. Great read, will catch you later I hope. Peace.




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