poemranker ::Orca by Dovina

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Free verse № 144449

Orca

by Dovina

Member since 2004 · Posted 6 Jul 2006 · 8 comments

In the Strait of Juan de Fuca, on a morning tidal surge, a tall fin rises taller, taller, off the coast of Orcas Isle. Erect and stiff, he cuts the swells, spreading ripples left and right. No sooner has he met the air than her shorter, stubby fin arises, tracking, swimming at his side. They move together up and down, his curving lead she follows— fins that sway like dancers bodies not quite seen. They spout together, raise their flukes, then disappear to secret acts, leave lusting eyes to wonder, what goes on beneath the waves.

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8 comments

[9] amanda_dcosta 6-Jul-06/8:02 PM Reply
You've captured it all.... Bravo. I don't think there's much to wonder about after this.
[n/a] Dovina › amanda_dcosta 7-Jul-06/8:16 AM Reply
Wondering is more fun than seeing.
[9] ALChemy 7-Jul-06/11:12 AM Reply
He's going under to free Willy.
[n/a] Dovina › ALChemy 7-Jul-06/11:17 AM Reply
lol, by Job, you might have got it.
[9] Ranger 10-Jul-06/12:07 AM Reply
On the basis that I'm not going to make any crude puns based on de Fuca and whatever they're going off to do, this is tops. The only thing that I would change is 'stubby' - not because it's ineffective, but '-y' adjectives always seem a little vague to me. It's the same with '-ish'. They get the meaning across but don't really do anything for me image-wise.
Anyway, that's a minor point. Your writing seems to be getting better and better with every post.
[n/a] Dovina › Ranger 10-Jul-06/10:37 AM Reply
I hadn't thought of you as one who would think of pun based on Fuca. I guess I see your point about '-y' words. Her shorter fin needs a comparative adjective to his tall, erect one - 'clitoric' maybe, but it's too naughty.
[8] ecargo 10-Jul-06/9:28 AM Reply
Nice details to this, and some good innuendo. (Erect and stiff is very naughty, Dovina. ;)).

I've had an unfinished whale poem (not as fun as this) for years--maybe this'll inspire me to finish it. Funny how once in a while there's one that just leaves you stymied re: how to finish it!
[n/a] Dovina › ecargo 10-Jul-06/10:39 AM Reply
Too naughty, I think. It needs softening, should be subtler.