on some deleted poem
21 Sep 2005, 2:46 PM
Good story.
on untitled Rubiyat 1 by starkfister
21 Sep 2005, 2:50 PM
Interesting rhyme pattern.
on From Dust To Flesh To Texas by Caducus
25 Sep 2005, 9:46 AM
Drop the next to last line. It's out of place and seems preachy. Otherwise real good.
She was 18 when you were 30?!
You old dog you;)
She was 18 when you were 30?!
You old dog you;)
on How Angels Smell by Dovina
25 Sep 2005, 11:13 AM
The Angel Michael smells like cookie dough and looks like John Travolta.
I heard they were blind but the not smelling thing is new to me. The next thing you'll be telling me is they have no feeling which explains why they don't bother having dicks.
Maybe God just smells really bad. That's why the angels have Michael Jackson noses and God hides from us.
Next time you smell something funky and you can't figure out where it came from feel comfort in knowing the holy father is near.
I like the idea of the poem. The blindness of faith and all.
I heard they were blind but the not smelling thing is new to me. The next thing you'll be telling me is they have no feeling which explains why they don't bother having dicks.
Maybe God just smells really bad. That's why the angels have Michael Jackson noses and God hides from us.
Next time you smell something funky and you can't figure out where it came from feel comfort in knowing the holy father is near.
I like the idea of the poem. The blindness of faith and all.
on Vice, Depravation, and Solace by D. $ Fontera
25 Sep 2005, 11:28 AM
Better than it should be.
on my friend beth we wear by jessicazee
25 Sep 2005, 11:34 AM
I spank this hurricane a monkey throwing but Snickers at me.
on some deleted poem
26 Sep 2005, 9:38 AM
"All things shall pass."
on The regrets made me voids by Prince of Void
29 Sep 2005, 8:51 AM
Void=Nothing
Nothing=-0-
-0-=My vote
Nothing=-0-
-0-=My vote
on Through Your Eyes... by jlynnwall
29 Sep 2005, 9:13 AM
Looks like a bar code.
on A Barefoot Day in the Park by Dovina
28 Sep 2005, 3:45 PM
Good except "leaves from my fingers" seems to have no metaphoric or symbolic reason and is not based in reality either. Maybe something more like "leaves in my hair".
The title reminds me of that Redford and Fonda movie.
The title reminds me of that Redford and Fonda movie.
on A Meadow, Among Other Things by Enkidu
30 Sep 2005, 8:05 AM
What bad luck to survive a horrific plane crash only to be chased down, killed and devoured by vicious bunny rabbits.
Funny stuff.
Funny stuff.
on The Sun by MacFrantic
30 Sep 2005, 8:20 AM
Couplet 4 is redundant and contradictory. (How the hell did you manage that?)
Why call it a free verse poem?
Kind of a good lullaby.
Why call it a free verse poem?
Kind of a good lullaby.
on Sex Object by Dovina
6 Oct 2005, 7:01 PM
Don't worry Dovina we still think your a sex object.
on some deleted poem
3 Oct 2005, 8:50 PM
So when The Passion of the Christ ended you thought nope not enough gore and it ended way too soon.
Sorry that's the smartest assed thing I could come up with for a poem this good.
What ever happened to the 3 Magi anyway. Maybe you can come up with one for that too.
Sorry that's the smartest assed thing I could come up with for a poem this good.
What ever happened to the 3 Magi anyway. Maybe you can come up with one for that too.
on I don't rhyme enough, eh? by Niphredil
3 Oct 2005, 9:26 PM
Even Picasso said he had to learn to draw like Michelangelo before he could learn to draw like a 7 year old. The latter took him about 40 years.
End in the Rhyme
Poetry
with it's flashy plume
and flowery scent
is but a simple tool
to recall a precious event.
Dare I say many a fool
has often came and went
who forgot this simple rule
and so will not end in the rhyme.
If you wish to write poems sublime
to spand the changing seasons
(For man's memory fades with time
if it's not given a proper reason)
Fear not that it be called a crime
nor claims of poetic treason
to historically rhyme in the end.
End in the Rhyme
Poetry
with it's flashy plume
and flowery scent
is but a simple tool
to recall a precious event.
Dare I say many a fool
has often came and went
who forgot this simple rule
and so will not end in the rhyme.
If you wish to write poems sublime
to spand the changing seasons
(For man's memory fades with time
if it's not given a proper reason)
Fear not that it be called a crime
nor claims of poetic treason
to historically rhyme in the end.
on Why Iâm Homeless by Dovina
3 Oct 2005, 7:26 PM
Everyone has a home. You've just got to find it.
on I don't rhyme enough, eh? by Niphredil
3 Oct 2005, 9:54 PM
What happens when genius doesn't strike you and you don't rhyme?
This shows the duality between human nature and science. Science has no compassion but human nature has its moments.
Your still improving. Which is more than most of us can say.