| Re: Mystical Chinese Dragon by that_funny_girl |
24-Aug-05/6:20 AM |
love the beginning. but goes from charming to pretentious right around 'erudite'
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| Re: I've often been known to make people laugh by T. Jonathron Remp |
1-Sep-05/10:29 AM |
very funny.
are all those 'i cans' really necessary?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
2-Sep-05/3:42 PM |
I appreciate all the criticism and agree with most of it, from your point of view...I should have put a disclaimer that this would be best appreciated by a toronto audience.
Toronto has a horrendous homelessness problem, and I wrote this thinking of my otherwise wonderful city. Perhaps this sounds like an excuse, but what the statue looks like doesn't need to be explained to a Torontonian, because we walk by 100 homeless people everytime we go downtown.
the last three lines are supposed to highlight the discrepancy between what we know is right and what we do.
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| Re: The Healing Species by Dovina |
7-Jan-06/7:53 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
15-Feb-06/2:39 PM |
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I had to google that one. I don't have time to watch TV (I used, but not these days). Wherever Meredith is I wish her the best.
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| Re: The Obelisk by MacFrantic |
1-Apr-06/10:59 PM |
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love how the last line collapses
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| Re: Murder by Enkidu |
15-Apr-06/8:43 AM |
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fantastic rhythm. almost TOO effortless
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| Re: The Way of Monsters by MacFrantic |
21-Apr-06/4:51 AM |
'concupiscent'?
ack,
Latinate words are never evocative, stultifying instead. throws water on your fire . same for installing, concerning, intention etc
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| Re: First Warm Day on Santa Barbara Bay by Dovina |
26-Apr-06/5:04 PM |
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aren't most waves formed relatively near the shore? but I'm no oceanographer. *8
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| Re: Goldmunds Slut Fiasco v.2 [Revised] by Y2kSlamPoet |
26-Apr-06/5:07 PM |
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| Re: hiding demon by pollywolly |
26-Apr-06/5:08 PM |
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a typo in line 3 -'too' the repetition of 'hides' is a bit heavyhanded
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| Re: Euclidian Insanity by tryplsyted |
26-Apr-06/5:10 PM |
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wouldn't insanity be a non-euclidean space. (sorry to be Riemann you out like this) *9
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| Re: Background Noise by Plaidypus |
26-Apr-06/5:11 PM |
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the shift from I to he doesn't work for me
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| Re: The Shack by Domus |
26-Apr-06/5:12 PM |
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| Re: Swans by Alizarin_Crimson |
26-Apr-06/5:13 PM |
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enough 'more's? less is more
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| Re: Waves (2) by Rilke4ClosetLesbians |
26-Apr-06/5:14 PM |
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| Re: How To Ride a Bicycle by Dovina |
7-Aug-06/6:35 PM |
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| Re: New Year by wilco |
13-Jan-07/7:10 AM |
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wasn't this poem the inspiration for 15 seconds of a 1970s sitcom?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
13-Jan-07/7:14 AM |
you are an evil piece of s*** who obviously knows it too. go ahead, spread your poison because you think you're anonymous.
it's actually a decent poem - but you being a hateful asshole makes me feel sorry for you. so i'll give you the nothing you are and want.
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| Re: Same old rancour (a yellow stream of consciousness) by ecargo |
13-Jan-07/2:57 PM |
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yes, rockmage is winning. glad you're above it all -9-
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