Swans

Member since 2005 · Posted 17 Apr 2005 · 3 comments

As bitter as it sounds, you can go ahead and believe itâs true: every beautiful thing is equally ugly Just look at the swans, with their brine-stained wings Theyâve returned from their winter leave to rebuild their nest, which was removed by the city who said it was an eyesore, made of sticks, trash, and other things Calmly they preen their feathers; no time to grieve! Already they are searching for new debris, they too must make their honest living Across the river, a car alarm screams: More! More! More! More! More!

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mean 6.00 weighted 5.12 rank 5695 views 227 View voting details →

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3 comments

[7] thepinkbunnyofdoom 18-Apr-05/10:34 AM Reply

The car alarm screaming more, more, more, is a bit of a what the fuck, but I was enjoying it for the most part. Random Fact: Swans are vicious fighters(Bloody and to the death).

[8] Goad 18-Apr-05/2:46 PM Reply

I actually really like the more more more -- it makes the whole pome for me. Because with the "they too must make their honest living" you wander dangerously close to hallmark/maudlin and the more more more yanks the reader back violently from that precipice.

[6] patty t 26-Apr-06/5:13 PM Reply

enough 'more's? less is more