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Swans (Free verse) by Alizarin_Crimson
As bitter as it sounds, you can go ahead and believe it’s true: every beautiful thing is equally ugly Just look at the swans, with their brine-stained wings They’ve returned from their winter leave to rebuild their nest, which was removed by the city who said it was an eyesore, made of sticks, trash, and other things Calmly they preen their feathers; no time to grieve! Already they are searching for new debris, they too must make their honest living Across the river, a car alarm screams: More! More! More! More! More!

Down the ladder: For Gillian Park

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Weighted score: 5.119203
Overall Rank: 5714
Posted: April 17, 2005 7:39 PM PDT; Last modified: April 17, 2005 7:39 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 4.224.24.206 | 18-Apr-05/10:34 AM | Reply
The car alarm screaming more, more, more, is a bit of a what the fuck, but I was enjoying it for the most part. Random Fact: Swans are vicious fighters(Bloody and to the death).
[8] Goad @ 80.132.208.141 | 18-Apr-05/2:46 PM | Reply
I actually really like the more more more -- it makes the whole pome for me. Because with the "they too must make their honest living" you wander dangerously close to hallmark/maudlin and the more more more yanks the reader back violently from that precipice.
[6] patty t @ 70.30.214.253 | 26-Apr-06/5:13 PM | Reply
enough 'more's? less is more
227 view(s)




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