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Background Noise (Free verse) by Plaidypus
Last night in my dreams, I was a man who wanted everything A girl shoveled bread onto a plate at his request she could not work fast enough; his need picked up mysteriously, from nowhere she fought the man, despondently trying to explain the limit to what one can have in this world In a striped apron, with a sense of urgency I was also this girl A falling object broke the night in half Still empty and begging, the light drained out of my gasping hands, unquenched, with thick, grey creases The girl’s arms dropped beside her waist, lips parted, doubtful I should not have seen it, this accidental glimpse: The Insatiable Me, and The Me Who Serves Now I think of them, doing their work in the infinite, internal lands

Up the ladder: lawngazing
Down the ladder: You and I

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Weighted score: 5.119203
Overall Rank: 5652
Posted: February 28, 2005 5:09 AM PST; Last modified: February 28, 2005 5:09 AM PST
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Comments:
[6] Stephen Robins @ 213.146.148.199 | 28-Feb-05/5:16 AM | Reply
A terribly dangerous poeme with grave consequnces for the unwitting reader.
[n/a] Plaidypus @ 68.14.27.48 > Stephen Robins | 28-Feb-05/7:31 AM | Reply
At first I was hurt by this comment...then I read YOUR poetry, and realized you hadn't gone through puberty yet...
[6] Stephen Robins @ 213.146.148.199 > Plaidypus | 28-Feb-05/8:28 AM | Reply
It's a real shame you can't take criticism without resorting to base insults.
[10] zodiac @ 212.118.11.12 | 28-Feb-05/10:04 PM | Reply
Did you just watch the movie "Girl with a Pearl Earring"? Just a wild guess.
[n/a] patty t @ 70.30.214.253 | 26-Apr-06/5:11 PM | Reply
the shift from I to he doesn't work for me
[7] Zoe @ 84.13.181.246 | 5-Jul-06/5:19 AM | Reply
This reminds me of a poem by John Ash that I think was called 'A Novel'. This feels like it could be a whole novel in one poem.
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