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The Way of Monsters

Member since 2003 · Posted 19 Apr 2006 · Edited 20 Apr 2006 · 6 comments

When I'm destroying sunsets I can hear the angels calling Falling oft from lips a-drawling Little drips and quips installing In my mind a mindless matter Scatters priceless indiscretion I need mention my intention When the wrench of my contention Stops the fears forever turning Burning smoke for curls concerning Something with of which I know The way of monsters we do row I disguise in crowding colors Concupiscent ghosts approaching Broaching drams of swirling drink Where monsters short of shadows slink Devilish unrivaled fever Casts a masquerade of sun For fun and fortune's play Melee I leave upon this day Dismay has clasped a frozen fist On wisps of sunset that I missed Come now hell or come high fire Mired in spells of spite inspired

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6 comments

[8] Ranger 20-Apr-06/2:12 AM Reply

Some awesome lines - 'quips installing', 'Burning smoke for curls concerning', 'Dismay has clasped a frozen fist' (my favourite of the lot), 'Come now hell or come high fire (not far behind).
I assume this is about Vikings invading? If so, 'gears' didn't quite fit. Last line of stanza one was good, and was what first made me think of Vikings - then the drink and the fever.
In stanza one I felt that the non-rhmying lines were too slow for the quick, rhymed triplets. And I would have preferred for stanza 2 to follow the same scheme, but I'm not complaining too much.

[n/a] MacFrantic › Ranger 20-Apr-06/12:08 PM Reply

Thank you to no limit. I had to do a little editing. "gears" was supposed to be "fears"(I don't know how I overlooked that). I also didn't like that the first stanza was a question, so I changed it. And yes, this poem is about vikings/barbarians. Very keen of you, Ranger.

[8] patty t 21-Apr-06/4:51 AM Reply

'concupiscent'?

ack,

Latinate words are never evocative, stultifying instead. throws water on your fire . same for installing, concerning, intention etc

[8] ecargo 25-Apr-06/9:14 AM Reply

I love the first line, but the rest of the first verse seems a little high minded for barbarians (quips and angels and the like). Maybe it's too many video games, but I wanted more violence (not necessarily overt).

Second verse--really like the "disguise in crowded colors," the swirling, shadowy melee you invoke--fire and smoke and color and movement. Good stuff, Mac. If you could bring verses one and two closer in feeling/movement, this would be ace.

[8] Ranger › ecargo 25-Apr-06/5:45 PM Reply

"Maybe it's too many video games" - I never saw you as a gamer, ecargo...

[8] ecargo › Ranger 26-Apr-06/8:11 AM Reply

Can't claim that I am--just a dabbler and a product of the times. ;)