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How To Ride a Bicycle (Free verse) by Dovina
Don’t ride until you can fix a flat or put the chain back on the cog. Learn that the front brake stops you best and flips you on your elbows. Never let your chain squeak, and carry a tube you can donate. Never blame your bike if you're the last one up a hill. Dress to be visible, and ride to be predictable. Scrap your clip-on shoes and pedals, and don’t underestimate fig bars. Ride with shoes you can walk through an antique mall in. Buy a bike you feel comfortable on, riding in a downpour. Buy the cheapest helmet that fits well, and always bring a pump. Compliment other people’s bikes, especially if they are new. If you pass another rider going up a hill, say “Hi.” But if it’s a woman and you aren’t, don’t assume she wants to chit-chat. If you’re a woman and it’s a guy, you can chit-chat all you want. Put a funky wooden rack on the back of your bike, especially if you want his, “Hi, nice rack.”

Up the ladder: The Vagabond
Down the ladder: knowing and KNOWING

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.6666665
Weighted score: 5.717177
Overall Rank: 1917
Posted: August 6, 2006 6:12 PM PDT; Last modified: August 6, 2006 6:12 PM PDT
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Comments:
[9] amanda_dcosta @ 202.164.140.158 | 7-Aug-06/8:58 AM | Reply
D. I find this cool and amusing, esp.the last four lines. It amazes me of how you think of simple things and express them in poetry.
[n/a] Dovina @ 12.72.36.225 > amanda_dcosta | 7-Aug-06/5:00 PM | Reply
Thanks, I think. Anyway it’s more owner’s manual than poem.
[9] patty t @ 70.30.185.161 | 7-Aug-06/6:35 PM | Reply
this is wonderful
[n/a] Dovina @ 12.72.36.168 > patty t | 7-Aug-06/8:32 PM | Reply
Spoken like an iron-donkey cowboy.
[10] leonxic @ 70.244.48.17 | 11-Aug-06/10:19 PM | Reply
Finally; direction.
[9] Ranger @ 86.131.57.119 | 12-Aug-06/1:07 AM | Reply
Heh, I spent so much time on mine recently that this made me grin from ear to ear :-D
[n/a] Dovina @ 12.72.34.5 > Ranger | 12-Aug-06/7:43 PM | Reply
Perhaps I should add, “Avoid branches / they can grin you ear to ear.” Happy cycling.
[9] Ranger @ 81.156.73.10 > Dovina | 12-Aug-06/10:04 PM | Reply
I certainly will, although this morning will be through the rain...
[9] ALChemy @ 71.75.188.163 | 12-Aug-06/9:02 AM | Reply
Kipling's "If" for bikers?

Hey you left out:
Don't let having a testicle removed stop you,
it might even be a more comfortable ride.

In honor of Lance Armstrong of course.
[n/a] Dovina @ 12.72.34.5 > ALChemy | 12-Aug-06/7:43 PM | Reply
Thanks for the suggestion. I am confident that having both removed adds even more comfort to the ride.
[n/a] Nicholas Jones @ 86.135.241.142 | 27-Aug-06/12:34 PM | Reply
This is nice, I guess. Though you're wrong about clipless pedals, they are a fantastic invention.
[n/a] Dovina @ 63.199.240.113 > Nicholas Jones | 27-Aug-06/12:48 PM | Reply
Thanks for the comment. But pedal clips are only good for racing, in my opinion. If you are riding for pleasure or for going to work, you might get there 1% faster with your feet attached to the pedals. The added danger and inconvenience are not worth it. And it's nice to be able to shift your feet on the pedals for variety.
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