Re: Twin Forks by auscot	21-Dec-04/3:07 PM
Your best so far. Quite good. no comma after bring. "No longer will I look, without regret," is a bit clunky.
Re: Internet Inspiration (Dovina) revised by jroday	21-Dec-04/3:08 PM
Thank you for reposting this and for the kind sentiment.
Re: Horror at the grotto by scitz	21-Dec-04/4:14 PM
funny, sad
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Dec-04/5:07 PM
Good meter with a quiet feel.
Re: I have Learned to Let Go by Joe-joe	22-Dec-04/10:43 AM
So your goodbye was not final. We have two theories here on Poemranker: 1. Poets, who are dim, write nonsense. 2. Poets who are dim write nonsense. I see -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. adheres to both. Which do you prefer?
Re: The Slave by Bhaskaryya	22-Dec-04/10:47 AM
Good. Line 2 - "And rest" Ling 3 - "descending."
Re: Sidestepping Stupor by PsydewaysTears	22-Dec-04/10:51 AM
At least you're not assuming we know the setting this time. This is good. Verses 5,6 and 7 need some opening transition, I think.
Re: Disable by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	22-Dec-04/5:14 PM
Retibution is only exceeded in sweetness by ridicule.
Re: Andrew part II by Spindle	22-Dec-04/5:23 PM
restrain->restraint "love's soothing touch AND scalding strike" good line. It did seem like killing myself the first time he did that. You're right, it's about virginity.
Re: AL-NAAFIYSH by blacksoul	25-Dec-04/10:56 AM
In putting a familiar saying with the name AL-NAAFIYSH, are you commenting on his life or his art? I don't know enough about him to say. I could comment on the saying, but you're getting at something here that I don't understand.
Re: Upon a Wooden Cross by wolfinaunicornsuit	23-Dec-04/5:54 PM
You've lost me here. Except for a few glimmers, I'm looking into darkness. What's going on?
regarding some deleted poem...	23-Dec-04/12:02 PM
You prayed to nothing, and nothing, i.e., God, raped you?
Re: there's no way out by oneglove	23-Dec-04/1:15 PM
More kind to whom?
Re: Lies of Society’s Guise by PsydewaysTears	24-Dec-04/12:15 PM
"Lies of Society’s Guise" is redundant. Why not "Lies of Society."
Re: Writer's Block by Bhaskaryya	24-Dec-04/12:21 PM
And thus you wrote this. Try reading some of the ridiculous comments on Poemranker. They're inspiring! "I can't catch a single one on paper"
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Dec-04/2:22 PM
While standing there nude, thinking about her with the hot shower running, the mirror fogged and the blade slipped – necro-fogslippage. Yes, nomenclature is everything.
Re: Go by darylchew	27-Dec-04/2:30 PM
It's down rthe hall on the left, and if occupied, there's an oleandar bush just outside. I do like the "halo beneath my feet."
Re: Firedell by Spindle	27-Dec-04/2:31 PM
Pleasant dreams.
Re: Transition by Miggy	27-Dec-04/2:37 PM
Better grammar would help I think, even for a song. This is not simply a matter of an old prude telling a young songwriter about grammatical orderliness, it is a matter of clarity.
Re: Oh well, shit happens by sir_heff	27-Dec-04/2:40 PM
You still like "un-bias"???? It's worth more than 0, but give up on becoming her god of gods. I wouldn't wish that on any man.