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Twin Forks (Lyric) by auscot
TWIN FORKS Twin forks, a leafless silhouette against the sky. A resting place for wings too tired to fly. Bright eyed, cavorting possums, nightly bring, added strain to each dying, aging limb. How long before surrender, break and fall, no more a refuge standing stark and tall. And seen against a sky so blue by day, the skeletal shape a shining silver grey. One day these aged boughs will tumble down, to lie, decay and crumble, on the ground. No longer will I look, without regret, these branches then forever lost to me, and yet, not lost, returned to the earth below, to nurture seedlings, which perhaps will grow, and form another lofty haven, over time, to be seen by other eyes, alas, not mine.

Up the ladder: Forbidden Fruit(2)
Down the ladder: Passive Birth Control

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 30
.. 10
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.. 00
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.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
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Arithmetic Mean: 8.0
Weighted score: 5.806824
Overall Rank: 1680
Posted: December 20, 2004 9:34 PM PST; Last modified: December 20, 2004 9:34 PM PST
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Comments:
[10] Lifeboatman @ 203.104.94.2 | 21-Dec-04/4:46 AM | Reply
hehe.. 10
[n/a] auscot @ 138.130.92.116 > Lifeboatman | 22-Dec-04/4:55 PM | Reply
Thanks, can't get better than 10.
[9] Dovina @ 69.175.6.101 | 21-Dec-04/3:07 PM | Reply
Your best so far. Quite good.
no comma after bring.
"No longer will I look, without regret," is a bit clunky.
[n/a] auscot @ 138.130.92.116 > Dovina | 22-Dec-04/4:50 PM | Reply
Thanks Dovina, a great score. Punctuation has always been my weakness, I tend to grap a pinch, scatter it and hope it lands in the right place. Re 'No longer..., it seemed ok at the time. Thanks for the crit.
[10] Yikes @ 205.188.116.67 | 21-Dec-04/6:20 PM | Reply
mmm, I enjoyed this! A literary masterpiece; 10, without hesitation.
[n/a] auscot @ 138.130.92.116 > Yikes | 22-Dec-04/4:57 PM | Reply
Made my day, but a literary masterpiece?
[8] blacksoul @ 204.215.33.176 | 22-Dec-04/7:02 AM | Reply
Not bad bro.-8-
[n/a] auscot @ 138.130.92.116 > blacksoul | 22-Dec-04/4:54 PM | Reply
Thanks brother, I lived in Africa for a few years amongst beautiful people.
[n/a] zodiac @ 212.118.11.30 > auscot | 22-Dec-04/10:21 PM | Reply
LOLTTM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, my!
[10] dancin_n_da_moonlite @ 64.12.116.135 | 29-Dec-04/9:59 PM | Reply
great work - love the imagrey - perfect 10.0
178 view(s)




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