Re: Acrostic Terza Rima by Bhaskaryya	27-Dec-04/2:47 PM
Not a bad love poem for an acrostic, hard to do and have it say anything.
Re: Distance by Lifeboatman	28-Dec-04/2:37 PM
Too vague
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Dec-04/2:40 PM
A rant, but only a rant. Carry on if it helps.
Re: Portables by Shardik	28-Dec-04/5:54 PM
Probably some bonsai and orchads too. Probably third generation American.
Re: My brain’s dialogue by kawakurdi	28-Dec-04/5:57 PM
Do you think the orgasnic matter in your head is you, or are you a being separate from that matter? Something more lasting?
Re: Christmas Break by Plaidypus	28-Dec-04/6:01 PM
What does the last part of the poem, good as it is, have to do with the first verse?
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Dec-04/10:57 AM
To be on the hurt side of a broken love is not very happy. You feel that all you do is glisten and glitter with tears, a prisoner to the in between, while the other person gads about freely, never knowing your pain. Or maybe you've learned to glitter and glisten in public, hiding the tears.
Re: Jealous over a maybe by thepinkbunnyofdoom	29-Dec-04/11:12 AM
Lost her eh? Too smooth and stylish maybe. Couldn't prove it by the way you spelled smooth, what's and you're.
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Dec-04/11:16 AM
The little pleasures we grasp onto to alleviate life's pain. Good job. prithee??
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Dec-04/11:19 AM
If you must rhyme and use a sing-song poesy style, then make the rhythm regular. Better still, find something to say.
Re: Fear by auscot	29-Dec-04/2:11 PM
I'm surprised you didn't get more comments and votes. The only detraction I see is the grave of fear in the mind. Grave implies death of fear, but the rest of the poem talks of a fight with it and then again at the end, putting it in the grave. But fear is never completely dead. A good poem overall.
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Dec-04/2:15 PM
Not bad except for the grammar. The soul is a concept not well developed.
Re: Mosul by Dovina	29-Dec-04/7:17 PM
Could not someone say it's 5-7-5?
Re: Tsunami by auscot	30-Dec-04/11:34 AM
Why not call it Arostic? We call such events "Acts of God" realizing that if a similar quake shook the ocean just 100 miles off the California coast as it did off the Asian coast, that we would have had about five minutes warning, and as many of us probably would have died. Pleasant dreams, and respectful prayers.
Re: My Beliefs by jroday	30-Dec-04/11:52 AM
My father taught me "there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem." He didn't write poems, but he knew how to till and how to paint. His oil on canvas shows the pain and joy that comes from a row straightly furrowed. I hope that as you recover, yours will depict aspects of a dilemma and its resolution that few of the rest of us can even imagine. This could be called a "Prose Poem." There's a new category here for them. It's a form that allows you to develop ideas like these more fully than you've done here. The ideas and beliefs are good, and could use more rigorous preparation.
Re: 60,000 tsunami by Acid_moose	30-Dec-04/11:56 AM
They call it an Act of God, as if He consciously did something. You're right, we are nothing.
Re: Echo On The Rocks by PsydewaysTears	30-Dec-04/12:05 PM
Comes the picky Dovina, like a bluejay to eat the ladybugs, and ask what all this means. Or rather to say again that I think the thing should give enough clues that I wouldn't have to ask. Okay, she cried, you left, and you feel okay with ending the codependence.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Dec-04/12:08 PM
A tender and thoughtful prayer. If God answers any, He will surely answer yours. Beware of the wolves, they are not all in sheep's attire.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Dec-04/12:27 PM
Good meter and use of rhyme. Wow, all these knives, all this hurt, is there no redemption in all the blood and cutting? Maybe not. Good poem.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Dec-04/8:04 PM
Well, you're only 16 and just getting started at writing, and want to show your "beautiful heart and mind," so I'll say this easy. Read good poetry, observe, find unique things to say and unique ways to say them. You're not even close with this poem, but don't give up.