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The Slave (Free verse) by Bhaskaryya
With a plough in his tired hand, A slave's eyes wander across the hired land And rests over the lass fair in the end, Rapt by the sight of the sun, on her golden hair descend. A soft dream overshadows that weary eye, But he looks away with a dreary sigh, For he has learned to yield to fate, Life for him is a ride from field to crate.

Up the ladder: Windflower
Down the ladder: An Affair with Letters

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.4
Weighted score: 5.166884
Overall Rank: 5034
Posted: December 22, 2004 3:31 AM PST; Last modified: December 22, 2004 3:31 AM PST
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Comments:
[9] Dovina @ 17.255.240.138 | 22-Dec-04/10:47 AM | Reply
Good.
Line 2 - "And rest"
Ling 3 - "descending."
[9] jroday @ 204.215.34.34 | 22-Dec-04/11:29 AM | Reply
I agree with Dovina. good poem work on it a little more
[6] horus8 @ 24.130.62.63 | 22-Dec-04/11:07 PM | Reply
Sounds like that neeger wants a leetle white wheestle.
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