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Andrew part II (Free verse) by Spindle
You were my world. The thought of you filled the pages of my mind. The sound of your voice healed my soul. From your body I drew warmth and fufillment. You were my world. You changed my world. An innocent girl who had yearned for love ever since she could remember. A girl who knew nothing of love's soothing touch or scalding strike. I opened myself to you with all the restrain of a child's laughter. You changed my world. You took my world. My thoughts that were once focused on the beauties of the world were altogether consumed by worrying. My mind was constantly torturing itself for its wrongdoings, and blaming itself for the wrongs that were done to me. I killed myself for you. You took my world.

Up the ladder: My God
Down the ladder: new 1

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.25
Weighted score: 4.910598
Overall Rank: 9614
Posted: December 21, 2004 7:52 PM PST; Last modified: December 21, 2004 7:52 PM PST
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Comments:
[4] anonymous @ 212.162.192.165 | 21-Dec-04/11:31 PM | Reply
Absolute chestnut!!
[5] auscot @ 138.130.92.116 | 22-Dec-04/2:22 AM | Reply
Move on, you lost your virginity. The world is full of predators who take what they want or are offered it on a plate. It taught you a lesson, it's called the getting of wisdom. Let your next poem be a happy one,it lies within you, let it free.
[n/a] Spindle @ 69.240.144.130 > auscot | 22-Dec-04/2:45 PM | Reply
Not to yell at you or anything, but I would just ike to comment on the fact that whenever someone writes a sad poem people patronize them, saying that at least they don't have cancer or AIDS or something, and whenever someone writes a happy poem they are called naive and fake. How can you win like that?
Oh, and just so you know, this peom wasn't just about losing my virginity. I hope that's not how it came across to everyone.
[n/a] zodiac @ 212.118.11.30 > Spindle | 22-Dec-04/10:28 PM | Reply
You should write a happy poem about having AIDS.
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.130.62.63 > zodiac | 22-Dec-04/11:02 PM | Reply
ha ha ha... that gave me a cackle, LEMONAIDS.
[8] Dovina @ 17.255.240.138 | 22-Dec-04/5:23 PM | Reply
restrain->restraint
"love's soothing touch AND scalding strike" good line.
It did seem like killing myself the first time he did that. You're right, it's about virginity.
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.130.62.63 | 22-Dec-04/11:03 PM | Reply
"Absolute chestnut!!" I could not best this comment, so here it is again. (For some reason every time I read it, I burst).
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