| Re: Deep Thought by Dreammaker1024 |
12-Mar-05/5:44 PM |
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| Re: The Lonely Man by i_am_the_popsicle |
12-Mar-05/5:46 PM |
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I rarely say this because it's a bum rule, but Show, don't Tell.
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| Re: The Because Collection by INTRANSIT |
13-Mar-05/9:55 PM |
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Because you've gone bonkers or drunk.
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| Re: The Glass by dancin_n_da_moonlite |
13-Mar-05/10:00 PM |
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And glasses keep the bugs outa your eyes while cycling. I've been told that in the past, which is the same as "I've been told that."
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| Re: Delusions Of A Peaceful Place by Stacy Stewart |
14-Mar-05/6:47 AM |
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I can imagine it. Good title.
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| Re: history by whispern_smoke_wisp |
14-Mar-05/6:50 AM |
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The past. History is just a sample, not fate.
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| Re: a wonderful life by crooked_smile |
14-Mar-05/6:53 AM |
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Verse 2 poses an interesting question.
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| Re: On Reading by the_poetess |
14-Mar-05/6:56 AM |
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Some good thoughts, but overwritten. How can you predict what you will never do?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
15-Mar-05/12:43 PM |
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Yes, I believe it was, and about time too.
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| Re: Burnt by Dreammaker1024 |
15-Mar-05/1:04 PM |
Delilah was needed to cut Sampson's hair. Judas was needed to betray Jesus. Two thieves needed to be crucified beside Him. So it seems.
Try spacing this out and defining the thoughts into verses, and then see if it really makes sense, or maybe a step toward something else.
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| Re: "America The Beautiful" by jroday |
17-Mar-05/7:37 AM |
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According to tradition, it's the young who raise rabble and carry signs with four letter words and protest everything the establishment is doing. Unless you're younger than I think, we have here an exception, an atypical bandstaner, a non-stereotype. Rant on!
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| Re: Drinking before noon with Bukowski by Beyond_Dreams |
17-Mar-05/1:03 PM |
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Youâve encountered the typical American man. Iâve been told on good authority that if you donât do it, they donât want you. Iâve met several who walked away for the same reason. But I have to confess that his hand slipping under my skirt to my knee, or a little past, aroused tender desires, mostly the kind that wanted to give a hug to a lonely man. And I still believe thatâs what heâd want if he could sort out his feelings. Thatâs why I donât give up.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
17-Mar-05/1:07 PM |
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Not bad. Wordy in places, but not bad. One of your best.
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| Re: Pain by camperdfl |
17-Mar-05/1:10 PM |
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Not a limerick. Would be stronger without the first word in each line, Lies/Cries/Screams . . .
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| Re: The Ususal Love Stuff by Dreammaker1024 |
17-Mar-05/1:12 PM |
Strange how the usual love stuff is so unusual and new.
Just try to say it with a lot less words.
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| Re: Memory by chocolate9009 |
17-Mar-05/5:30 PM |
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I can see you ran into a wall without your saying so. And the spacing is just distracting. Other than that it's not bad.
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| Re: Camping, Volume 3 by jessicazee |
18-Mar-05/1:53 PM |
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I've liked your camping missives. I have memories like them. How about "unknowing trees" and "blackberry briars whisper sharp stings before sweet fruit" and "ember light"
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| Re: To Show is Three by MacFrantic |
18-Mar-05/1:57 PM |
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The answer to your opening question seems to be "Happiness is confined and it is lonely," but the words are tangled and it's hard to tell.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
18-Mar-05/2:00 PM |
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Makes no sense. Of course a reflection is not worthy of love, as the person reflected is. So what.
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| Re: nightmare by rainybaby |
18-Mar-05/2:05 PM |
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Have you joined the Your Club in oposition to the rest of us who say "you're"?
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