regarding some deleted poem...	18-Mar-05/2:12 PM
Too plain and easy it seems. Not enough getting into her as a fat woman. That's the unique part of this - that she's fat, and you glossed over it.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Mar-05/6:55 AM
Writing a strong emotion in a way that people unfamiliar with the situation can relate to is a difficult task. I usually fail unless some burst of inspiration relates the situation and my feelings about it in a unique way - something that pulls them in, hooks them, draws up their own supressed feelings. Good try. I doubt if I could do better.
Re: A good little poem by INTRANSIT	21-Mar-05/6:46 AM
Do you really need (bread) after "rye" and "possibilities" after infomercial. You did say it's a little poem. Thoughts turn rye is good. Why not infomercials piclke?
Re: Rusty knife to the kidney by INTRANSIT	21-Mar-05/6:51 AM
I liked it better before, but still good.
Re: stab in the dark by not_a_philosopher	21-Mar-05/6:56 AM
Can we have some of you happy athiests speak out in rebuttal?
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Mar-05/9:03 PM
Spray ‘em black and send ‘em back.
Re: The Populous by durr_T_hip_E	22-Mar-05/12:38 PM
I’m following your butler of a title, and assuming this houseful of descriptions applies to the people as a whole. Frankly, I find that concept too broad for value. Still, the flow is good and the descriptions vaguely valid. I wish for greater definition, punctuation perhaps, and something personal.
Re: Tribulations of the ear and eye by oneglove	22-Mar-05/1:08 PM
The eye and ear high-tail it, dissatisfied. Okay, but "atrophied"? maybe "starved.” The “greatest gift” of the heart seems left alone and undeveloped. Maybe it needs a tender helping hand.
Re: Amsterdam One by durr_T_hip_E	24-Mar-05/8:18 AM
I hope you're talking about the Rails-to-Trails project we have going in America, where abandoined railroad rights-of-way are being converted to bicycle trails. Revive the bicycle!
Re: criminal by durr_T_hip_E	24-Mar-05/8:21 AM
Sorry, don't get it overall. Some nice language.
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Mar-05/7:38 AM
The added lines are, I think, “He is a branch of your family tree that was torn off and discarded before you were born.” I also think that could have been understood from the original version, but those smooth words improve the poem.
Re: Reasonably Good by Dovina	25-Mar-05/10:53 AM
I have revised it because nobody understood it the way I did. Of all the comments, here and elsewhere, I did not see that I had communicated. I hope these changes will clarify.
Re: The Hold Up by luzrheroguy	25-Mar-05/2:25 PM
Funny. Nice ending.
Re: foreplay by DR Limerick	25-Mar-05/2:28 PM
Limericks are so hard to use as a means of saying anything besides funny-ha-ha, I'm surprised you haven't tried something else by now.
Re: Cancer by mindsigns	25-Mar-05/2:36 PM
Aparently, you are speaking to the cancer in "I am your source . . ." If so, the first word should be "You." Try changing "fixate" to "die."
Re: Integration by jroday	26-Mar-05/6:27 AM
Integrate! Yes.
Re: You Pick It by durr_T_hip_E	26-Mar-05/6:40 PM
This is a good story right up to last few lines where I think you blew it. I saw the point without your telling it at the end.
Re: true love by francis nor capule	28-Mar-05/7:07 AM
I don't know these idyllic people in "so they say." Sounds like you could wait a long time.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Mar-05/7:08 AM
Cute.
Re: Memories of a Suicidal Sophomore by CemeteryBuffsOnline	28-Mar-05/7:10 AM
Not really a poem.