Re: Picture beneath the painting by Caducus	2-May-06/3:14 PM
"sodomy" stnds out as a misfit, but maybe it's there for some reason, If so, it's not given. I like Verse 2 because it's what I do each day. But it's about a painting, and like most of yours, gives not-quite-enough, not as much as I want.
Re: Glorious Turncoat, I Shall Return by Ranger	2-May-06/7:15 PM
I don’t want to be motherly or take you under a wing as a mate of God might, and I know this seems overbearing, but here we go: A riverborn reflection, Winter jaded, white on green, Once a laden oak, Now, statuesque as memory, Seemingly awake, remembering The year's last caterpillar, A copper spark - hue dash, Spinning, Uncertainly settling into his woven urn, Like a zealous acrobat rocking under shade. That spread-leaf (oaks don’t have needles) undead tree let the wind cry, Giving voice to his skin, To the caterpillar: "Why do you hang here, Away from the others in their wind-chime chatter? Do you fear the hollow resonance? You, butterfly, shall be adored in equal measure, Sustained by sap and leaf, Though I shall be cut down by those who planted me Many winters ago When water trickled. Then I drew from that well of life eternal. (cliché – change this.) Now see, I bring a symbol of violence Here on this hill in praise of the sun. Still you are silent, Named and broken. What will your wings resemble when you appear from this web? Your coat will turn, Leaping about, zesty as rays upon silver.” “The cost of transformation you will not find; Thirty tears will buy your passage. Nor will you reckon with those who dig my grave; These gardeners are warriors. Gleaming blades will strike, and they, the marchers, They will seek my crown through the crossing of thorns, For the carpenter I am, For the writer I am. From afar, I will be spied And hear their chant: 'He, a Zeus of nature! Cast him down to leave his print- Let him lie in a sealed tome Let him carry the messages of Man' On the wind I shall hang like you, caterpillar, Light among zephyr and rain until salvation." I like the Biblical image, the transformation of caterpillar as life after death, perhaps. Not sure what the dead oak tree represents – could be the Bible or old tradition now gone.
Re: Death by rabbit by INTRANSIT	4-May-06/1:19 PM
At least he knocked them on the head. That's humane, compared to slitting their throats while they hang shaking scared by their hind feet. Maybe you had this in mind also - feeling pain just before the warm trickle; that would not be so if they are knocked out first. You make too much of the container, I think. Does it matter what it's made of and lined with? It used to bother me too. Good poem.
Re: Wombs and wounds by Caducus	5-May-06/7:33 PM
Love is the epitome of unexpected. Carry the living from fantasy to fraternity. Mine are beneath trees too, by merlot and a farm in the hills. Love is a new pair of shoes he bought me because "You are worth it." worshipped by a stallion man who healed my heart fron a dagger's blow. Love is a word it's definition is who gives it who leaves it who breaks it who grieves. I am a griever an unbeliever snatched to belief broken, but spoken clean unlovable become loved dark, lonesome, angry, sad taken, given mouth-to-mouth revived, a womb to sleep in to feel warmth again.
Re: Before Dinner by D. $ Fontera	5-May-06/7:41 PM
Morter and pestal, a short melding before dinner - how sweet. Pierce the doorway - how enticing. Yes.
regarding some deleted poem...	5-May-06/7:47 PM
First verse: Get rid of "blasphemy"! God, love and kissing are otherwise a perfect trio. Verses 2&3, the "skull" kind of douses it. Otherwise a good come-basck from the "womb" one.
Re: Cookies Won't Cut It by Sunny	5-May-06/7:55 PM
You've made this, inconsiderately, beyond a cabernet-soaked mind. Still, "knew how her pain soaked into his body," is where I want to be if such crap ever saps my enigma.
Re: My Prayer by dana071287	12-May-06/9:28 AM
I think God listens to this kind of gushing, but I can't imagine Him doing anything about it. Too sentimental, too little desire for real change.
Re: Cupid Missed Two Junkies (slightly clearer, rambling draft) by Ranger	12-May-06/12:00 PM
You've stumped me with this one. The first thre lines are nice, then I'm lost. Will come back later. Token vote, as you say, to start the comment counter.
regarding some deleted poem...	15-May-06/10:22 AM
See, nobody holds grudges here - no zero for zero. Metamoprhosis seems wrong; that happenes before they seek out the flame. Maybe "plaything."
regarding some deleted poem...	15-May-06/10:28 AM
But you will probably grow old, and with your own kind of wisdom, another finger pointing in another direction. This poem is too general; it classifies based on age, like racism clasifies based on race. May I suggest that you look at each old person for for the possibility of some glimmer of real wisdon.
Re: Mannequin by Roisin	15-May-06/10:33 AM
It's a good little slogan about love (glue) as I see it. But I don't see the significance of the spacing.
regarding some deleted poem...	15-May-06/11:04 AM
I guess "sowe" is the English spelling of sow, and "cirrhus" likwise for cirrus. But her name is Sowe, so maybe not. If Sowe is a woman and a weaver, then I don't get the emphasis on trees in verse 3. Voting seven for uncertainty because it kinda rhymes.
Re: With a pithy stroke by D. $ Fontera	15-May-06/7:32 PM
The last line seems to say the same thing twice, which, in a haiku, is far too many.
Re: Cupid Missed Two Junkies (slightly clearer, rambling draft) by Ranger	16-May-06/1:27 PM
It’s much clearer now; I believe I get the gist of at least part of it. I like the use of Cupid to stand in for agape love - that's a nice analogy. "Arrow" is a bit confusing. You probably refer to Zeno’s arrow, a paradox where motion is rest. If so, then I think that’s too distant an allusion to expect even above average readers to get. The wrist nearly tearing is good because most people would say "hand tearing" which is probably not historically right. Consistency of the apple tree metaphor: Crimson spheres are imaginable, but emerald-colored apples are not, at least to me. I see other things going on here besides crucifixion. I’d like to see them all tie together somehow. Surely, you wish to show how these things are related.
Re: Goa by amanda_dcosta	16-May-06/1:38 PM
This is a nice narrative and story. As a poem, it lacks the usually expected structures. For example, the first verse might be reworded Well known for babes, beaches and beer. Goa - a dream come true. Not crazy about "nay" and "crazily."
Re: 72 virgins (but the bitches ain't fun) by ALChemy	17-May-06/10:42 AM
Those heavenly hoes died and went there for good reason. The rest of us never made it.
Re: Foray by richa	17-May-06/10:46 AM
"Your brown hair an earthy tone" says a lot.
Re: Numbers add to nothing by Caducus	19-May-06/4:42 PM
I like it upo to the last line, which preaches. Also, the title bothers me because it is not about numbers or addition or zero, but about sewing and reaping perhaps, or about not killing the bastard after his first murder, or about not killing in the name of justice - something like that.
Re: Seizures by Sunny	19-May-06/5:13 PM
"Tulips like porcelain" is good. But seizures? How so? The last line refers to a non-weak person. How are old pictures apparitions? Otherwise, some good lines.