| Re: KAT 2 by nentwined |
23-Sep-02/3:39 AM |
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Great sounding last stanza
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| Re: Every Day in Every Way by nentwined |
23-Sep-02/3:41 AM |
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You are very good at unforced rhymes and I like the feeling this poem gives of images opening up from each other.
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| Re: yellow afterthoughts by royalflesh |
23-Sep-02/3:45 AM |
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The more I read this the better it becomes. It takes a while for the situation to become clear to muddle-headed dimwit like myself, but it soon breaks out pretty powerfully. Yep.
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| Re: Invitation to Seduction by searching |
23-Sep-02/3:47 AM |
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I liked this until the last line - I think 'fences ' is there because it rhymes with 'senses', not because it expresses best your meaning. But I like the whole existential/erotic combination. Monsieur Camus would be proud.
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| Re: Expeditions by Nicholas Jones |
23-Sep-02/3:53 AM |
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This is very good. The images especially in the first stanza are vivid and full of guts.
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| Re: Ex In Bonds by OneFingerAnswer |
23-Sep-02/3:56 AM |
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Let the poor bastard go! I know how it feels. Horrible! Effective poem though.
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| Re: Hot Air Balloons by jess33 |
23-Sep-02/3:59 AM |
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| Re: The Class of 2012 by jess33 |
23-Sep-02/4:01 AM |
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I agree with your point and your ending but I wonder if it could do with some cutting earlier on?
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| Re: Night Photograph by jess33 |
23-Sep-02/4:02 AM |
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But that hope must be dashed soon afterwards? There is a loneliness behind this poem that I really like.
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| Re: A Short Message to You by jess33 |
23-Sep-02/4:05 AM |
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Some of the phrasing I find a bit awkward - 'pushing the envelope' is too much a cliche, and the 'parochial underdog' scans uneasily - but what you are saying is very good. It's this kind of thing that put me off God completely but it's good to argue with him like this and keep your faith if you can.
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| Re: Surprise by edge |
23-Sep-02/4:06 AM |
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Cake? Is this a joke? I'm baffled
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| Re: My Office by Tascobar |
23-Sep-02/4:11 AM |
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This is the story of every office worker in the world. On the button.
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| Re: Love and Marriage in Da Nang by Tascobar |
23-Sep-02/4:13 AM |
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Well, I like it, even though Joseph Heller got there first.
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| Re: Mommy, why does -=DarkAngel=- use 'an' so much? by <{Baba^Yaga}> |
23-Sep-02/4:20 AM |
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I'm sure Dark Angel is delighted with this. But you didn't put 'e' on the end of prawn.
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| Re: No insurance? No treatment! by <{Baba^Yaga}> |
23-Sep-02/4:24 AM |
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I pity the poor fool who gets in a cab with you. This is a pretty focussed rant, you swipe at evything worthing swiping at.
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| Re: Pilgrim by timfowler |
23-Sep-02/5:58 AM |
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I like the crude sculptor of mountains.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
23-Sep-02/6:01 AM |
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| Re: the silent storm by mallory180 |
23-Sep-02/6:05 AM |
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I don'think you need to spellout that you don't want to live in the past-your message would be obvious if you just said that theat you decided to turn away from your old house - you only need to show,not tell.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
23-Sep-02/6:07 AM |
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| Re: My Mountain (An ode to the nature poem) by Bachus |
23-Sep-02/6:12 AM |
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Oh you and yourdaisy chains,oh you woodland sprite, o prince of pixies, but Yeats was never a nature poet, but never mind. Rips the crap out of Shelley, anyway.
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