| regarding some deleted poem... |
20-Sep-02/1:27 AM |
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There's a lot of imagery here I don't quite get - the glycerine road? The final 'set a chain of gold'? 'Birch beaked into the wind' sounds good but I don't know what you mean by it. Perhaps I'm just being dense, but it seems to me you need to think about the meaning of your images as well as the aural prettiness of them.
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| Re: Mountain Ash, Mid Glamorgan by Nicholas Jones |
20-Sep-02/1:39 AM |
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This is great - the first stanza really kicks it off, I like the dig at the Eisteddfod's 'authenticity' and your very realistic view of Wales. And there is hope at the end. Definitely your best yet.
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| Re: Recent History by Nicholas Jones |
20-Sep-02/1:43 AM |
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I'm afraid I agree with Tintagiles. You also put a lot of thought into your poems and debate crucial issues, but sometimes you forget to put it into poetic form - there's no rhythm here, unlike your 'Glamorgan' poem.
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| Re: Regime Change by Nicholas Jones |
20-Sep-02/1:59 AM |
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Nicholas I hope you didn't mind me using your poem as a springboard for a lecture. sorry!
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| Re: Fun by paracetamol |
20-Sep-02/4:13 AM |
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Take the paracetamol, you'll feel better
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| Re: Tugboats by poetandknowit |
20-Sep-02/4:17 AM |
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P&K, love the gulls. Birds rock don't they? I like this poem, sesnually it's very strong.
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| Re: rules by roses are read |
20-Sep-02/5:57 AM |
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A neat idea, it carries your angst
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| Re: i dreamt i spoke by roses are read |
20-Sep-02/5:58 AM |
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| Re: Her Secret by wunboi |
20-Sep-02/6:06 AM |
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Short and cute like Drew Barrymore.
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| Re: Tate Street 1956 by wunboi |
20-Sep-02/6:08 AM |
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I think the last stanza lets it down a bit - the syntax in the last line is slightly hackneyed - but the opening is very atmospheric and the feeling is real. I'd cut the ellipsis though.
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| Re: Her Light by wunboi |
20-Sep-02/6:09 AM |
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I think Horus is being somewhat harsh - the second stanza especially is full of longing, and I like that.
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| Re: Full Fathom Five by vulcan |
20-Sep-02/8:35 AM |
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Funny, i thought I voted on this before. Did you edit? I still like it.
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| Re: Bitter as Wormwood by vulcan |
23-Sep-02/1:15 AM |
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And wormwood is the stuff in absinthe that makes the brain a little fried. Interesting development on that Blok quotation.
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| Re: The Left Book Club by Nicholas Jones |
23-Sep-02/2:01 AM |
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George Orwell would have been proud of this. Very good indeed.
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| Re: Poem 479 by Nicholas Jones |
23-Sep-02/2:04 AM |
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The last stanza is a bit obscure, i don't quite get the progression from what's gone before. But the central stanza is excellent
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
23-Sep-02/2:10 AM |
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I don't know, this seems to lack your usual focus. I would never guess from the poem itself that it's about your father and 'he blame' is curiously unspecific. The last stanza is great though, what a pulse!
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| Re: For James Thomson(1834-1882):an Epitaph by vulcan |
23-Sep-02/2:14 AM |
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I love 'The City of Dreadful Night' - this picks up the tone nicely and also describes the poor man's tortured life. A lot of your work refers to other poets, is this part of a deliberate project?
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| Re: A Man Of The World by vulcan |
23-Sep-02/2:16 AM |
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The green fairy is another name for absinthe - given your poem about wormwood, are yout trying to reveal an addiction to absinthe?! Which is an excellent escape from Priests and rings.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
23-Sep-02/2:18 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
23-Sep-02/3:37 AM |
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I find this rather mysterious but effective
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