poemranker ::Tate Street 1956 by wunboi

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Concrete № 5051

Tate Street 1956

Member since 2002 · Posted 17 Jul 2002 · 6 comments

Its just a simple street Cicadas drum their hindsticks The air, a furnace of eucylpytus perfumed heat Afternoon , summer ,Nineteen Fifty Six In the yard big men sit Beer,my dad, his mates Between their legs enormous plates A harvest of fresh........oysters Remembers, only nine years Since their defining time With life so morning real War days end in tears A mate was there this morning A friend with evening gone In a month his wife is mourning Since that day his loss they'v born

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mean 4.17 weighted 4.21 rank 13209 views 181 View voting details →

18 votes so far. Yours would make 19.18 votes so far

6 comments

[1] horus8 19-Jul-02/3:51 PM Reply
jESUS DID YOU GUYS SAVE YOUR TRAILER? SAVE UNCLE STEVE THE MIDGET? LET YOUR AVERAGE, MEDIOCRE, LAZY,(NOT TO MENTION BORING AND ABOUT AS DESCRIPTIVE AS ME NARING MY HARRY ASSHOLE(WELL NO ACTUALLY THAT LAST LINE OF MINE WAS MORE INTERESTING THUS FAR, THEN YOUR ENTIRE BODY OF WORK) AND GET USE TO THIS COMMENTING BABY CUZ WHEN DARK ANFEL READS THIS SHIT" HE'S GONNA GO DE SADE" ON YOUR ASS, AND HAVE EVERY MIDGET IN THE WORLD GETTING DRUNK IN YOUR HONOR. SELF INDULGE ON THAT WUN-BOLL-NO-COCK
[7] nentwined 31-Jul-02/4:41 AM Reply
this is rather sweet; I like the mood and the flow. I don't get why you call it a concrete poem, though -- don't see what you're getting at, there.
[8] New Life Drug 31-Jul-02/9:43 PM Reply
sounds like a lovely summer memory, yet sad as it reveals what is happening to these people in their time
[7] Christof 20-Sep-02/6:08 AM Reply
I think the last stanza lets it down a bit - the syntax in the last line is slightly hackneyed - but the opening is very atmospheric and the feeling is real. I'd cut the ellipsis though.
[n/a] wunboi › Christof 21-Sep-02/11:26 PM Reply
Yes that last stanza shows signs of laziness . Ill have to rework it . The elipsis? I guess you mean the line of stops. Point taken but Ill leave it anyway
[2] hipster flare 1-Oct-03/9:51 AM Reply
Oh yeah, that's concrete. looks like a jagged edged something.