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Tugboats (Free verse) by poetandknowit The fish factory's stack spits thick steam,
smothering air with smoke and the stink
of baking snapper and salt water herring.
Packing machines stifle
waves spilling, painting sand smooth.
Gulls splash for dogfish or starve or kill each other
hovering above, waiting for disposal.
I pull a half pint from my lunch bag.
A tugboat guides a crab ship to port,
preparing for a new shift.
Men gather around the factory door, soundless -
ragged flannels concealing pale bodies burning from boiler heat,
stitched hands and scabbed fingers fresh from paring tables.
Skin soaked with the stench of rot that never goes away.
I sip whiskey as the morning horn screams.
Night men file out defeated, bodies reflecting gold in the sun.
My pop walks among them in slow rhythm with the machine beat,
his face stone from sneaking booze at break time, eyes tired.
When he reaches me he says nothing, just takes me in his arms -
wet from his skin cleanses me, sweet liquor on his breath.
Then he moves toward home as I follow the single line
straight past the time clock, into the ocean.
Up the ladder:
The Man Who Drooped
Down the ladder:
Dancers
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.9411764
Posted: September 17, 2002 2:47 PM PDT; Last modified: September 17, 2002 8:38 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.9408607 Overall Rank: 1396 Comments:
[9]
<~> @ 68.63.97.120
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17-Sep-02/3:47 PM
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Reply
crackiling good sounds in this, p&k, from hard to hardened to softer, and down. me like.
i think i liked it better before. it felt more raw, in a salted wound kind of way...dunno.
I have always been pulled towards your writing. Its magnetized tonight, rightfully so. You sir, are surely in my eyes...beckon and spoken sometime inbetween and throughout-without. 8
Dear poetandknowit:
Absolutely wonderful! I gave it a nine. It flows like an existential river moving into the bowels of our being. Doug
This is fairly dandy. However, someone I know (not waltfreakinwhitman) abuses the word "tug" so much that I couldn't read it without trying to find some sort of masturbatory reference in every line. (It worked in most of them.)
Also, I know you don't necessarily like "density", but I think the last third could stand to be more concise.
This is almost a half unveiled compliment from you. But you are right. Two months ago, it was Tolstoy (or Horus8 Inc in our little world) now it is down to this. Still snipping.
wanna borrow my whetstone?
Did you see my challenge to Frass? I thought it very chivalrous.
indeed. i am waiting.
outline is complete, first stanza finished. no word from frass. but, my aim is true.
the longer i wait...
poetandknowit, you actually posted that peice of crap? and put your name to it? man your brave, personally i feel your tallent would be better spent writing blurbs for used tampons. Maybe you should look at being a fish molester, you seem to be very interested in them.
I gather you have a drinking problem? AA does wonders, and you never know it may also cure your bad poetry, one can only hope. The continual use of the word TUG, are you a closet wanker? pervert busters can help with that problem as well. Please spare us any more inane ramblings, it falls under the cruel and unusual punnishment chapter..
This poem does not lack experience-9/10
And it was good
I can smell it, is this autobiographical ?- 10/10
Here is someone who truly wants to be anonymous, describing themselves as "Hi!! I just turned 6 and I write poetry. My mommy and daddy love my work and
say I am the next Robert Lowell. I don't know who that is or anything but they told me about this site and I wanted to share my writing and poetry with the world. I have a best friend and I love to play with my dog and eat happy meals. I am a Christian, SWM who loves to chat after mommy and daddy go to bed. Please do not be to mean to my poems. Please. Pretty please. " With a mouth like that, I you must be some Christian
bigbigdog: everyone on this site has the ability to read my 'about you" without out you wasting space in the comment box. At least you bothered to put quotation marks around it and did not claim it as your own writing. Why are you still on this site you stupid fuck? You are a plagiarist. The lowest of the low. Are you mad because I caught you, exposed you for the freak you are? Do you think coming to my poem and giving it a 0 is somehow going to assuage the ridicule I place upon you. Find another site. One full of teeny poopers and take your worthless self there.
P&K, love the gulls. Birds rock don't they? I like this poem, sesnually it's very strong.
This is full of strong images. One small point, if you had just been drinking whiskey, would you have smelt the sweet liquor on him ? In my experience its only when you have not been drinking that you are aware of the smell on others. That apart great-10/10
Doggie, though P&K is a lot of things, he posts what i assume to be his own poetry. you don't. you are a plagirizing little hack, robbing the graves of witers you could never be.
Dear PoetandDontKnowit:
I am not mad at anything. Apparently have mistaken me for someone who has claimed to have written a poem called fleas. I never claimed any such a thing. Secondly, you could probably write better poetry if you could realize you weren't put on this earth to be the Poem Police; and Lastly, Have a nice day. I meant no harm.
Dear sir: In your pathetic lifetime as a plagiarist you will never write anything even close to the stuff I tossed in the litter bin long ago. This is not the site for your tomfoolery. You claimed to write it when you posted it under your name. You did not say, "Hey, check out this poem by Ogden Nash." You know what you intended and you were caught. And you are a plagiarist hack! There is no excuse for you or your actions. Write something original or get lost. Simple as that. I am the Poem Police. Remember that next time you try to rip off another persons toil. Have you considered shooting yourself? It might help.
Get your head out of your arse and get over yourself. You are quite obvoisly someone who is not even noticed by others and so find the need to promote yourself in your own mind. Picking on spelling mistakes, degrading the work of others. Bigdog may mean no harm. I, however, do. Places like this are sullied because of people like you. Someone comes on, drops a joke, and look at your sad, pathetic responses. I don't think there is a person alive that does not know the poem, much less someone who might think that bigdog actually wrote this himself. So, why are you taking this so seriously? Is it because of your strong sense of patriotism? To allow the world to know that such a disasterous crime as been committed? Or is it just because you are a sad fuck? I pick the latter.
Oh yes, your reason continues to show exactly how clever you are. It was not a joke and you know it. And the only people who might think this resembles something to laugh at are underdeveloped weasels. I am sure you and you canine friend fall into this category. Where exactly do you get patriotism out of this? Again, I will tell you what I told your friend. This has nothing to do with self-promotion on my part. I know I write well and have quite a successful career producing work that is my own. On this site, I am also well respected and I also realize this. Besides this is not about me, it is about your friend and now, I guess, you. What is funny and pathetic is that you defend him, because he surely cannot defend his own honor. Therefore, it is a question about self-respect. I have it. And you sir, have none.
yOU ARE MAKING THE ASSUMPTION i KNEW THAT WAS A POEM WRITTEN BY OGDEN NASH. sIMPLY NOT TRUE. i THINK YOU NEED TO PONDER THE FACT THAT SOME PEOPLE ARE NOT AS SMART AS YOU, AND DONT KNOW THE NAMES OR AUTORS OF EVERY SINGLE POEM LIKE YOU DO.
Whether you know the author or not the work was not yours. You knew that and yet you still thought it humorous to post it as your own on this site. Then let your goof of a friend drag his pathetic self into the fray. It is about one work: plagiarism. Look that up! I have contacted the estate of Ogden Nash and informed the owner of this site (who is a dear friend) to reveal your ISP. The proper authorities will be contacting you soon. Good day.
you are making the assumption that we all think your disrespectful, felonious actions are really clever. wrong. clearly, your ignorance shines through.
I am quaking in my boots
My God even your comments are well worn cliches. Can you not claim authorship to anything you write?
That Poem SUCKS DICK like you do "poetandBLOW " it so I think you need some more ASTRO-GLIDE found up your ASS !http://www.astroglide.com/freesample/in
That Poem SUCKS DICK like you do "poetandBLOW " it so I think you need some more ASTRO-GLIDE found up your ASS http://www.astroglide.com/freesample/ind
Old Mother Hubbar/aka "poetandBLOWit" went to the cupboard to get her dog, Rover, a bone When she bent over, young Rover took over and gave her a bone of his own...
That Poem SUCKS DICK like you do "poetandBLOW " it so I think you need some more ASTRO-GLIDE found up your ASS http://www.astroglide.com/freesample/ind
Old Mother Hubbar/aka "poetandBLOWit" went to the cupboard to get her dog, Rover, a bone When she bent over, young Rover took over and gave her a bone of his own...
write it a couple more time, okay? because we're all really really dumb here, and we didn't get your point yet.
And yes I posted it 3 TIMES to get my fucking Point across to you poetandknowit/poetandBLOWit!
once more, pretty please? it was so sage and wise, and you really made my day by posting it...
No you didn't. You posted it 3 times because you fucked up.
I have your point zzinnia66
POINT your head right up your ass just like poetandBLOWit! you stupid little dumb fuck!
OK -=Dark_Angel=-
you cant read either I explained you stupid little Fuck! CANT YOU READ???????????????? DUMB ASS!
Trolling is only funny when the people you're trolling don't realise it.
Trolling is only funny when the people you're trolling don't realise it. nice try for a poem I guess you are gunna sibmit it? Boy oh boy your are dumber than I thought!!!
No, really. If you're going to try to piss people off at least do it with some style and/or subtlety. Right now it's obvious that you're trying to annoy people, and since the initial "impact" has worn off it doesn't seem to be working anymore. At this point any self-respecting troll would launch into "sorry sorry I didn't mean anything can I still be friends with you?" and watch with glee as all the smug, outraged refusals came pouring in.
I have to admit you know your stuff. =)
Duhh, I guess it did work you were the Dumb ASS that responded again DUH!
t/y nentwined
:)
You're such an ass, nentwined was reply to someone else. You are clearly clueless. The 3rd incarnation of juvenile expression. The Trinity of Fatuity is now complete. I await your miserable attempt at rebuttal.
OMG such big words!!!!!!!!!how long did it take you to look them up?
You're so predictable. I don't have to look things up, well sometimes to make sure I'm not mis-spelling them. The words I used are far from big. Trinity Juvenile Fatuity. Are you home schooled? Does your fundamentalist mommy waiver between punishing you to keep you out of the eternal pit and licking your genitals? Hard to get an adequate education under those conditions.
so you like to lick your own genitals? your sick !and I bet you have one of those stupid fish emblems on the back of your car to?
Take a look at what you just wrote. You simply repeat what is said to you and then accent your stupidty with bad sentence structure and mis- use of the word "to". You have the sophistication of a 10 yr. old.
Yep I must have hit the "SWEET SPOT" about the fish emblem on your car! lol
What on earth are you talking about? Has my tone hasn't changed. I sport no emblems. I believe you are starving for attention. Go outside and play.
ok ok I know you just went outside to check your car for that fish emblem because you cane remember anything. And you come back here just to try and pretend you know how to write poems
I think you need some ASTRO-GLIDE for the Super vaginal dryness you have. Since you have the big mouth around here I think you should change your name Blabber Mouth Wife!
well one more reply just for you I suppose you typing a BIG lecture about 1 mispelled word! dont bother on wasting your breath, at your age you might pass out or die! Save yoyr energy and atleast give your hubby a good BLOW job and make him happy. I Beleve your condition is solved here http://astroglide.com their is an complete section for menopausal women your age.
By the way it does come in easy to use pre-filled applicators and its water-based too. So now you can enjoy some real confort instead of that old Dryed out wrinkly old thing you have between your leggs.
I happen to have one of those 'fish emblems' on my car and I'll thank you to stop making fun of them, ASTRO-GLIDE! How dare you!? As a committed Christian, I am baffled by your total lack of respect for anyone else on this website. I suppose you think it's clever to make fun of other peoples' beliefs? Well get this: that emblem represents something very important, not only to myself, but to humanity as a whole. Doesn't seem so funny now, does it?
See I knew it some of you do have the "Satnic" Fish emblem! Iam sorry to say but its true all the people that display the so called Satans??? Emblem are all for themselves and dont give a rat's ass about anyone else. And they beleive their religon is above everyone else, just because your a so called Satans???committed "Christian". Reply on your "quote" Doesn't seem so funny now, does it? NO it does not that people like you continue to display the "SATANS" emblem on the back of their car either now does it? In actuallity all Christian's are Satans followers!
opps almost forgot, I await your miserable attempt at rebuttal.
BORING. an ineffectual, blatant attempt to overwhelm the audience with overpowering imagery. SUBTLETY is crucial in a piece like ths. Not to mention that the thought process is fragmented and unrefined. Amusing to read the comments, especially the one that says (and I quote exactly):"You're so predictable. I don't have to look things up, well sometimes to make sure I'm not mis-spelling them. The words I used are far from big. Trinity Juvenile Fatuity. Are you home schooled? Does your fundamentalist mommy waiver between punishing you to keep you out of the eternal pit and licking your genitals? Hard to get an adequate education under those conditions.
Reply ". ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL!! You should really be posting on a comedy site, not on a poetry site. Someone claiming to know English, and look words up to avoid misspelling them, then turns around and puts punctuation where none is needed and then goes so far as to use the worng word altogether!! Oops..or did she just misspell "waver"? I suppose we'll never know. I have written my own verse, and to be quite frank, would rather not post it anywhere if the alternative were here, simply because the so-called poem I just read is so uninspiring and obiously neurotic as to cast a palpable pall on any kind of quality work.
oh, heavens...i seem to have misspelt a word...damn, I guess i'm not perfect after all
i agree with mentors previous statement also i think that we're all a little to concerned about a little website ive never heard of....ok thx bye bye :)
I have read better stuff on a medicine bottle
As a published poet i can say with experience that this poem blows goat balls, i have to agree with bigbigdog that this guy/gal is either 6 years old (and not very clever for a 6 year old) or is in more dire need of a blowjob then anyone of the face of the planet... damn did you read that before you posted it.... i have written better poems setting on the toilet drunk vomiting in the sink... damn boy/girl get a life and get a clue..... get a job because the poetry isnt going to work out for you ....... all i can say is damn you suck
well ya know, those who know me know that I am rudefully honest , this is well read for yourself "When he reaches me he says nothing, just takes me in his arms -
wet from his skin cleanses me, sweet liquor on his breath." first how do ya know it is sweet, did ya taste it, heh, I think you and your pops have a lil midnight ass penetration going on after he gets done fishing, well I have a freind that can help, he has a bunch of Astroglide. :) oh and btw, the poem sucked ass.
god, all this has gone on to far, (not to plagerize Rodney King) but cant we all just get along, this is just a web site for people to submit poems and get some feedback, is it not? why the cruelty? why does everyone feel the need to so 'witfully' make fun of the author, they try their best, you dont need to fuck with their ego, just because some of you may be more experienced at writting doesnt mean you are any better, we all had to start somewhere. cant you all just relax. and if not, go to some aol chatroom where these type of verbal personal attacks are accepted with open arms...
" god, all this has gone on to far, (not to plagerize Rodney King) but cant we all just get along, this is just a web site for people to submit poems and get some feedback, is it not? why the cruelty? why does everyone feel the need to so 'witfully' make fun of the author, they try their best, you dont need to fuck with their ego, just because some of you may be more experienced at writting doesnt mean you are any better, we all had to start somewhere. cant you all just relax. and if not, go to some aol chatroom where these type of verbal personal attacks are accepted with open arms..." Why you ask? because i can..
I Agree with loki
I give this 10, because I can. And as for bigbigdog/astro-glide,cfarm/mentor/fred cadawalter/Turbo-Tom/Shrimp-Kills
Ignorance is a rare exotic fruit; touch it, and the bloom, has gone.
Great-evocative stuff
Damn, damn, damn , and dmanation-I like this, no-I do, this is good-10/10
Except whiskey is spelt WHISKY-illiterate american bum
Also the Irish stuff is 'Whiskey'. Check yer facts, Mr Strider
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