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Her Light (Concrete) by wunboi With the light behind you
Your sillouhette is made
It is your simple presence
Made welcome in my cave
If you could tell me that you love me
If you would wash me with your hair
With the shadow of your body
You will dry away my care
It is the strawberry burnished brightness
Of your ivory polished skin
That is the smallest measure
Of your burning light within
Up the ladder:
Z.
Down the ladder:
The Mistreatment of Ed Murray
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.894737
Posted: July 17, 2002 4:25 AM PDT; Last modified: July 17, 2002 4:59 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.8997293 Overall Rank: 9874 Comments:
[0]
horus8 @ 63.146.150.34
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19-Jul-02/3:20 PM
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Reply
Wunbol is it here is some advice don't lose your day job. cause you're writing is somewhere between condomed gerbals and pre-school cot pissing. So indulge that strawberry
I like.
I think Horus is being somewhat harsh - the second stanza especially is full of longing, and I like that.
A Concrete poem is a conglomeration of words (sometimes one word repeated over and over) whose overall shape is a key to the concept it presents. There are no truly agreed-upon conventions, but a natural elegance of arrangement is often striven for.
Sometimes the poem can be read in multiple directions from different starting points, depending on the shape of the form and the curiousity of the reader. 184 view(s)
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