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Every Day in Every Way (Free verse) by nentwined my mind, it is changing --
not into another,
but new things arranging
in
prismatic lines.
a new dawn is dawning
and causing expansion,
while the
old mind is yawning
with prismatic dreams.
a butterfly emerging --
twilight's last blooming,
with vitality surging
and prismatic wings.
twilight's last blooming
is but one of many,
with many more looming;
more prismatic beings.
Up the ladder:
The daisy-chain girl
Down the ladder:
Liberty bells & Disney Land
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.85
Posted: March 16, 2002 1:15 AM PST; Last modified: March 16, 2002 1:15 AM PSTWeighted score: 6.85 Overall Rank: 317 The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:
Comments:
[3]...
anonymous @
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13-Jun-01/9:06 PM
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Reply
like the prismatic repetition, but the lead images in each stanza feel cliche.
i like how it flows like a mo fo.
prismatic
adj 1: of or relating to or resembling or constituting a prism; "prismatic form" 2: exhibiting spectral colors formed by refraction of light through a prism; "prismatic light"
i really like the first verse, but the rest just feels too unnatural...
A QUOTE; The prolonged use of hallucinogenic plants. In the course of our hundred million year current evolution on this planet Has directly and indirectly been responsible for the development of our social structure
and subconscious way of deciphering What we perceive in the spaces surrounding usand the areas within us When God blew life into our primitive bodies He did it by enabling us to make choices Instead of falling prey to our instincts Inevitably the overall majority of us still did and do So make the wisest choice Be strong in your mind child Fulfill this destiny Chosen by youfor youand then move on to the next level Refuse to be the animal that you have striven for three and a half million years to rise above in spirit and reason Be good to yourself Then be good to others Do not make the simple complicated Do not make the easy hard
You are very good at unforced rhymes and I like the feeling this poem gives of images opening up from each other.
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