Poemranker [most recent comments (19221-19240) and replies]

nentwined replying on Censor by nentwined 28 Apr 2005, 12:18 PM

I bet this is much, much worse now. :)

nentwined replying on Censor by nentwined 28 Apr 2005, 12:11 PM

Eh. It's mildly retarded. trickle trick-- le maybe? just trying to drip the thoughts down, ish.

sliver on Censor by nentwined 28 Apr 2005, 12:08 PM

I don't get the le part.

somemorepoetry replying on Fingers Are Soldiers by somemorepoetry 28 Apr 2005, 9:33 AM

thanks. It's actually about writing.

Dovina replying on Panama by Dovina 28 Apr 2005, 5:15 AM

The subject of every sentence is either "he" or "she." The phrases following the first line of every verse refer back to the subject. You don't have to like it, but that's the layout.

thepinkbunnyofdoom on Fingers Are Soldiers by somemorepoetry 27 Apr 2005, 10:42 PM

***Jawless comrades ***Gape at us with ***Broken, edited teeth. Damn good images in this. Some of them bloody as hell, but damn good.

thepinkbunnyofdoom on I killed you in New Mexico by sunset sky 27 Apr 2005, 10:30 PM

2nd stanza is incredible. Why 5 lines in the other two stanzas? Why not just keep the lines "Kneeling and bleeding to death" and "I was your temple-worship Hand me down" as one line instead of two. I think the writing is better than the form here. Still a 10 in my book. <3 Jason

thepinkbunnyofdoom on Your Mom, My Dad by jessicazee 27 Apr 2005, 10:23 PM

The line breaks could be better.

thepinkbunnyofdoom on Somehow, Hope by DeadtotheWorld 27 Apr 2005, 10:11 PM

I have to wonder, what the hell were you smoking? I can't even begin to tell you all the things that irritated me about this. Try not to use the same words repeatedly(Like 'many' for one example, there are plenty of other words that mean the exact same thing). I liked what I thought you were trying to get at here, but I hated how you tried to get there. -4-

thepinkbunnyofdoom on am i right? by celticskatermatt1 27 Apr 2005, 9:55 PM

Okay, a tip about poetry. Write like your on crack and seeing funny shit. In other words be inventive.

thepinkbunnyofdoom on spiritual living by mystic enoch 27 Apr 2005, 9:31 PM

"life changes, love doesn't." Think of how things sound if you read aloud. Didn't affect my vote, but I thought I'd mention it. -7-

thepinkbunnyofdoom replying on I do... Not! by Billy Fights 27 Apr 2005, 9:27 PM

Guitar, Bass, and Drums. I'm best at Guitar considering that I don't own any of the others. I'm currently working on my classical acoustic. <3 Jason

somemorepoetry on Carnival Creatures by <{Baba^Yaga}> 27 Apr 2005, 7:37 PM

I'm not sure if you need a question mark at the end or not, but this was good either way.

<{Baba^Yaga}> on What Happens When It Rains by ChaseValentine 27 Apr 2005, 3:48 PM

Nice.

<{Baba^Yaga}> on The Situation as it Stands by ChaseValentine 27 Apr 2005, 3:48 PM

Eh.

<{Baba^Yaga}> on Letters Left Unsent by ChaseValentine 27 Apr 2005, 3:47 PM

Better.

<{Baba^Yaga}> on Ode To The Fly In My Beer by ChaseValentine 27 Apr 2005, 3:47 PM

Right...

ChaseValentine on Sailor Dress by sunset sky 27 Apr 2005, 3:25 PM

Yes.

ChaseValentine replying on Breakfast by James Rykelangeli 27 Apr 2005, 3:14 PM

No, no. You're right. My fault. My lack of vocabulary. I read "cresset" as meaning to be "crescent" and "champaign" as meaning to be "champagne." I thought you were drinking mimosas or something. Honestly, I like it more having read it again. But I agree that I think it's maybe trying too hard.

ChaseValentine on Your Mom, My Dad by jessicazee 27 Apr 2005, 2:58 PM

I really like this. This has the nice intimate touches that all poems should have. But what I got lost in was the (I assume intentional) rambling structure. For instance, when I first read "the first time you threw up it was all Tootsie Rolls/Southern Comfort/cat hair," I read it as one unbroken thought, which made me wonder why someone would be throwing up cat hair.