I like the bumper sticker that reads, "I'm a Militant Agnostic - I don't know and neither do you." Then again, I also like what Francis Schaeffer said to one man who claimed to be an agnostic, "'Agnostic', that's Greek, isn't it? In Latin that would be 'Ignoramus,'" or words to that effect.

"Maybe Im brainwashed like p&k said. But I cant be wrong, realizing that your whole life has been a lie, do know how mind-blowing that concept is. Waking up and coming to grips with the fact that every thing that you to be right and wrong is all grey?" Been There, Done That Bought The Damn T-shirt The sexual repression of paternalistic monotheistic religions can be great inspiration for art... but the pagans had better technique. There's plenty of angst and angst poetry around. (I'm not above adding my crap to the pile.) It sounds like you're almost read to move on. From experience, you'll thank yourself on so many levels when you do so.

gosh. never heard of traditional nonsense poetry.

I gave you feedback. About the blizzard of puncts. But I have a feeling you're attached to them.

I go along with Joshua partly. After the last two lines, especially because of those last lines, I'm left a bit unsatisfied. Although I realise the War itself isn't so relevant. And why change from present to past? It doesn't look too wrong, I simply wonder why.

>>my arm is red<< There are actually a lot clues and I admit, I didn't see them. A new approach is required... No, it's not a good poem. It's far, far too long and is basically a written account of a filmed event with a soundtrack of you telling what you, at exact this and this moment, think and feel. It's really too much. Subjects like these call for subtility. Poem's not crude, it's not graphic, it's simply too much.

It's fine to criticize, but at least give me some feedback. What suggestions do you have so I may improve?

It's ABBA, but still difficult to pull off. I'm not sure how to parse line 7.

Lollipop, lollipop. Oh, lolly, lollipop. Lollipop! I agree that triteness and cliché are generally to be avoided, but I don't think that it has to spoil a particular work. The main things are to avoid obvious work arounds and to avoid hingeing the development of the poem on the afflicted lines. In this case, the offending couplet originated later in the development of the poem, but I moved it closer to the begining in order to de-emphasize it.

Line 8 began with "and" at one point. I cut it in one revision and forgot to replace it. I think that I need a different 3 syllables before 'word' to make the reader feel more comfortable putting the stress on 'her.' If you read it in iambic, it make the emphasis that I wanted when I was in the middle of the TABS (Teenage Angst...), but I shouldn't have to rely on the reader to force the rhythm for me.

Right, so many misconceptions here, my own fault, I should imagine, but still. This poem is not about kisses, foreplay, or anything like that. It is written about the period in my life where I self- harmed. The "Friend" is the knife, the "Kiss" is the actual act of cutting my arm, the fire is exactly what it says on the tin; I would heat the knife in the fire before cutting myself to reduce the risk of infection, and also to increase the sensation when i cut. Nothing sexual in there, unless you're into that kind of thing

You would not have heard this when you were twelve, because I only wrote it last October during a University lecture at the University of Wolverhampton. I don't doubt that very similar limericks must exist, let's face it, it can be argued that all limericks are pretty much the same, but this one is all my own