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Nonsense POEM #14687 (Free verse) by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk Whining elephant stands on a blue
Line waiting for government cheese and
Crackers to float up out of the swirling mist
That obscures the vision of the beaver people
climbing out of the primordial mud-huts of
the Village Disjunct of the County Inarticulate
This is the same dream I had when a
Hamburger was eating me!
Can I call you Malcontent? Yes you
can, it's my name and has been
such for so long I can't even
remember when it wasn't shifting in and out
of phase this laughing cactus wants a
hug as the penguin waddles in his tuxedo
and top hat towards the anchovy laden
Sea port and sees shells on the beach avoiding
the live crabs catching at my sand groovin' heels
it's a scene, man... a real scene.
Up the ladder:
Street Preacher
Down the ladder:
Ethnic Smells
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.142857
Posted: June 18, 2005 5:12 PM PDT; Last modified: June 18, 2005 5:12 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.5005374 Overall Rank: 12801 Comments:
[1]
Blue Magpie @ 212.205.251.8
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19-Jun-05/1:13 AM
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Reply
Nonsense poetry, traditionally has rhyme and rhythm to compensate for the lack of meaning.
[n/a]
Bankrupt_Word_Clerk @ 71.129.110.157
> Blue Magpie
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19-Jun-05/2:49 PM
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Reply
gosh. never heard of traditional nonsense poetry.
I should have left it at one stanz, it has a funny ending. Between 'Crackers' and 'Inarticulate' there are too many 'of's.
Hey, but >>the cactus wants a hug<< is quite hilarious! Why don't you just throw out the bleak nonsense, and think up a few more funny lines alike? And do something about the penguins tuxedo; it's so 1880's.
As written, it's more story than poem.
Dylan Thomas, even though he attended a famous surrealist convention in London with a teapot full of string offering to pour people a cuppa, always strongly maintained he was not a surrealist, because that involved using images from the subconscious directly without mediating them. He argued that, while he was happy to use such imagery, he had to artistically arrange them and make them fit his own poetic vision - he could not abide the sense of randomness inherent in true surrealism. And basically what you've done is to fall into the trap of bad surrealism, which is just to stick a load of images together without any thought for anything much.
you couldn't be more wrong. I thought long and hard over whether it should be an elephant or an orangutan..or a yellow line... and waiting for crepes or waffles...
actually.. I never thought anything. bravo.
only people I've ever heard say "cuppa" were from New Zealand.
I always thought cuppa was a quintessentially English word. I'm glad it's used somewhere else in the world.
I've never heard that definition of surrealism. It strikes me as kind of a misunderstanding on Thomas' part. Anyway, surely most surrealists would have agreed with his idea - that there is a mediating influence. As in the most famous surrealist exercise, the Exquisite Corpse, you always have at least of bit of line showing to guide you. For another example, Lewis Carroll didn't completely randomize his word coinage in "Jabberwocky", he just made up a consistent language that didn't make any sense. If brillig, slithy troves, wabe, borogroves, mome raths, and so on were real English words, the poem would have made perfect sense. As things stand, it only makes dream-sense.
Bankrupt_Word_Clerk, Carroll IS formal nonsense poetry. So are a bunch of others from his time. It was kind of an industry.
Pherengi rule of acquisition #73: You could afford a ship without your government -- If it wasn't for your government.
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