Re: sad moments by rbooey	zodiac 86.108.11.226	7-Jul-05/2:53 AM
Good luck to you. Personally, I imagine God being thoroughly Old Testament and all of us getting the fiery poker in the rump.
Re: A Wider Sky by elderking	zodiac 86.108.11.226	7-Jul-05/2:52 AM
skies, not skys.
Re: Our Soldiers by Lenore	zodiac 86.108.11.226	7-Jul-05/2:51 AM
"Their life’s the war’s ; sometimes their death is, too!" Yeah, that kind of follows logically, doesn't it? The rest is decent. Live from the desert. Over and out.
Re: The And women by INTRANSIT	zodiac 86.108.11.226	7-Jul-05/2:47 AM
I still don't understand the "And" part. I love the title, but the connection is lacking.
Re: a comment on The Bastardization of Hypocrisy by Bluemonkey	zodiac 86.108.11.226	7-Jul-05/2:30 AM
I'm with you. But maybe we're coming at it wrong. What's the bastard of hypocrisy? Well, depends on who's the father. Can we do tests? At a guess, I'd say the bastard of Hypocrisy (by Television, who's incidentally married to an aging stage actress) produces Bluemonkey, who hates them both and yet is hopeless heir to their various unique stupidities.
Re: Born and Fed by Dovina	zodiac 86.108.11.226	7-Jul-05/2:24 AM
"concerns the calf / only for the fun of it," is bumpy. You don't (typically, in any English that's ever existed) concern something for something else in that sense. Unless by concerns you mean 'makes him concerned, worries', and mayhap you do. Anyway, it's kind of like saying "flapping my arms concerns me for feeling like a bird". Do you see what I'm saying? Otherwise, I enjoyed.
Re: Our Soldiers by Lenore	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 69.231.31.215	7-Jul-05/1:56 AM
their life's the war's. their life "is" the War's life? is that what it means?
Re: a comment on pop by Dental Panic	Dental Panic 84.31.86.195	6-Jul-05/12:38 PM
Thanks. To me it's like stripping a thing until nothing but the thing itself is left, something like that.
Re: a comment on pop by Dental Panic	Dental Panic 84.31.86.195	6-Jul-05/12:35 PM
If Frank leaves you in the dark, maybe you should try to find a door. Like 'The Day Lady Died', that's a beautiful poem.
Re: Crack baby by Caducus	Lenore 64.252.101.156	6-Jul-05/10:04 AM
Fix line 2 and this is a 10.
Re: A Place by Celtic	Lenore 64.252.101.156	6-Jul-05/9:54 AM
This poem could be great. I found it too simple. Perhaps if you gave us more a sense of its Magic. How does this place feel? We know the wind is always calm but how does it look? How does it smell? How is it lit? What time of day are we seeing it, In moonlight, starlight, sunshine? The descriptions are flat and matter of fact and because of this, the poem loses its Magic. I’d love to see this reworked. Paint it more vivid. Take us somewhere enchanted!
Re: a comment on The Bastardization of Hypocrisy by Bluemonkey	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	6-Jul-05/9:06 AM
Hmmm...perhaps if I added some barnyard animals you would understand.
Re: Mother Earth by TLRufener	Lenore 64.252.101.156	6-Jul-05/9:03 AM
Your poem leaves me with the sense that Mother Earth has no love for winter and that in fact she’s dead throughout the entire season. Is that what you intended?
Re: Because to Live I Must by TLRufener	Lenore 64.252.101.156	6-Jul-05/8:49 AM
All the words melt together in an unappealing stew of a novice Witch’s brew.
Re: The And women by INTRANSIT	Lenore 64.252.101.156	6-Jul-05/8:42 AM
"plying a fiddle." Interesting poem.
Re: Crack baby by Caducus	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	6-Jul-05/8:30 AM
Ahh, drugs. super. Ever seen a crack baby? ghastly.
Re: Mother Earth by TLRufener	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	6-Jul-05/8:26 AM
Lose everything but this: Mother Earth Has gone to sleep. Lamenting, the wind Wails and weeps.
Re: A Place by Celtic	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	6-Jul-05/8:25 AM
Not big on Leprechauns and Pixies.
Re: Our Soldiers by Lenore	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	6-Jul-05/8:22 AM
Actually, I think this isn't bad. Don't like the last line, but whatever.
Re: Promise Me by Taco	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	6-Jul-05/8:19 AM
bleeech.