poemranker ::Born and Fed by Dovina

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Free verse № 128203

Born and Fed

by Dovina

Member since 2004 · Posted 4 Jul 2005 · 8 comments

A calf comes in with urges— get on feet, find a tit, run around. This last, it seems, concerns the calf only for the fun of it, glad and safe, born and fed, worth the effort.

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mean 5.25 weighted 5.03 rank 7296 views 271 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

8 comments

[n/a] INTRANSIT 5-Jul-05/8:32 AM Reply
D? No offense dear, I think you're trying too hard on this one, and the last. Set aside the cow thing for a while and go read G/Ws stuff. Here's the in door: Cyclical ketchup monstrosity.

P.S. I see cows a lot in my travels but aint put pen to paper yet. glad you did.
[n/a] Dovina › INTRANSIT 5-Jul-05/8:37 AM Reply
Who is G/W?
[n/a] INTRANSIT › Dovina 5-Jul-05/10:21 AM Reply
gods wife.
[5] Caducus 6-Jul-05/3:56 AM Reply
tit in line 2 just makes it read wrong.
[n/a] Dovina › Caducus 7-Jul-05/1:18 PM Reply
I presume you mean the meter is wrong. Surely, finding a tit is top priority for the calf.
[6] Bluemonkey 6-Jul-05/8:17 AM Reply
Quite frankly, it's just boring.
[10] zodiac 7-Jul-05/2:24 AM Reply
"concerns the calf / only for the fun of it," is bumpy. You don't (typically, in any English that's ever existed) concern something for something else in that sense. Unless by concerns you mean 'makes him concerned, worries', and mayhap you do. Anyway, it's kind of like saying "flapping my arms concerns me for feeling like a bird". Do you see what I'm saying?

Otherwise, I enjoyed.
[n/a] Dovina › zodiac 7-Jul-05/1:19 PM Reply
Nothing I can see makes a calf run and jump right after he’s born and fed, other than fun. Maybe he has some other concern, but it’s not evident. When you say, “The thing that concerns me is having fun,” how is that different?