Re: Born and Fed by Dovina	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	6-Jul-05/8:17 AM
Quite frankly, it's just boring.
Re: Because to Live I Must by TLRufener	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	6-Jul-05/8:14 AM
A trip to Salem, you must take.
Re: I Need Not be Told by Chelsio	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	6-Jul-05/8:13 AM
better than your other one, I'll give you that.
Re: Close to my Heart by Chelsio	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	6-Jul-05/8:12 AM
Ok, this is not great, but for 13 years old I'll say it's not bad.
Re: Last Vein by wilco	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	6-Jul-05/8:09 AM
Are you actually going to play this one? or just let it sit there?
Re: Born and Fed by Dovina	Caducus 172.215.111.222	6-Jul-05/3:56 AM
tit in line 2 just makes it read wrong.
Re: The And women by INTRANSIT	Caducus 172.215.111.222	6-Jul-05/3:55 AM
aint line 2 so true lol.
Re: a comment on Spontaneous Combustion by wilco	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.130.9.187	6-Jul-05/1:35 AM
he didn't give you a zero. maybe he's been filled the spiritual antithesis of true hippydom----- honesty.
Re: Close to my Heart by Chelsio	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.130.9.187	6-Jul-05/1:26 AM
I would like to encourage you to keep writing poems.
Re: a comment on The taste of something new. by darby pyn	darby pyn 207.200.116.197	5-Jul-05/8:56 PM
it's just used as a metaphor. I could have said glass. I meant it closer to your second analogy.
Re: Because to Live I Must by TLRufener	wilco 24.165.207.93	5-Jul-05/8:06 PM
I think you're giving too much away here. I'd shorten it and make it more abstract.
Re: a comment on Because to Live I Must by TLRufener	TLRufener 66.188.122.190	5-Jul-05/2:49 PM
The Witch is hiding from her family. She is a closet Witch. The reference to the curtain is her revealing her true beliefs to her family and friends.
Re: I Need Not be Told by Chelsio	Dovina 69.235.21.28	5-Jul-05/2:08 PM
Such a common theme in young writers, so common that to do it well in a poem may me impossible. At the least it would take a fresh approach, which this is not.
Re: grampa told us stories by elderking	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 69.231.25.173	5-Jul-05/1:57 PM
I enjoyed.
Re: Because to Live I Must by TLRufener	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 69.231.25.173	5-Jul-05/1:53 PM
points for the laugh. what the witch in your poem is really saying is that she/he doesn't really believe in the old ways...or else the curtain would already be pulled away (such is the case with true believers).
Re: The Bastardization of Hypocrisy by Bluemonkey	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 69.231.25.173	5-Jul-05/1:48 PM
Every time I read some Kierkegaard, or go farther back to Augustine or Origen I realize we've been devolving for thousands of years... what's sad about your poem is that I have the radio on, the t.v. on and I'm posting this on the internet. I'm a flippin' trainwreck!!
Re: a comment on My Little Africa (edit) by Nuit	Nuit 86.128.208.45	5-Jul-05/1:41 PM
That wasn’t the intention! Then again these things are left up to interpretation. If you’d rather see that than my stupidity, then I’m all for it!!
Re: The Bastardization of Hypocrisy by Bluemonkey	Dovina 69.235.21.28	5-Jul-05/1:36 PM
Wasn't hypocracy always a bastard kind of thing?
Re: The And women by INTRANSIT	Dovina 69.235.21.28	5-Jul-05/1:34 PM
I'm not getting what the last 4 lines have to do with it. We always bless the annuals that send the gardeners transplanting.
Re: The Bastardization of Hypocrisy by Bluemonkey	Nuit 86.128.208.45	5-Jul-05/1:27 PM
I cant see the relevance of the title to the verse.