Bluemonkey
on Born and Fed by Dovina
6 Jul 2005, 8:17 AM
Quite frankly, it's just boring.
A trip to Salem, you must take.
better than your other one, I'll give you that.
Ok, this is not great, but for 13 years old I'll say it's not bad.
Are you actually going to play this one? or just let it sit there?
tit in line 2 just makes it read wrong.
aint line 2 so true lol.
he didn't give you a zero. maybe he's been filled the spiritual antithesis of true hippydom----- honesty.
I would like to encourage you to keep writing poems.
it's just used as a metaphor. I could have said glass.
I meant it closer to your second analogy.
I think you're giving too much away here. I'd shorten it and make it more abstract.
The Witch is hiding from her family. She is a closet Witch. The reference to the curtain is her revealing her true beliefs to her family and friends.
Such a common theme in young writers, so common that to do it well in a poem may me impossible. At the least it would take a fresh approach, which this is not.
I enjoyed.
points for the laugh. what the witch in your poem is really saying is that she/he doesn't really believe in the old ways...or else the curtain would already be pulled away (such is the case with true believers).
Every time I read some Kierkegaard, or go farther back to Augustine or Origen I realize we've been devolving for thousands of years...
what's sad about your poem is that I have the radio on, the t.v. on and I'm posting this on the internet. I'm a flippin' trainwreck!!
That wasnât the intention! Then again these things are left up to interpretation. If youâd rather see that than my stupidity, then Iâm all for it!!
Wasn't hypocracy always a bastard kind of thing?
I'm not getting what the last 4 lines have to do with it.
We always bless the annuals that send the gardeners transplanting.
I cant see the relevance of the title to the verse.