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My Little Africa (edit) (Free verse) by Nuit
Please exploite me. Im begging you see. Break my sanity. Sell my identity. I wanna taste of what you got. Take my picture, burn me still. take my pride, culture kill. Sell my land, Im begging you please. Tourist attraction, Im on my knees. What you need is Coca Cola. Cigarets, Mc Donalds and real west culture. You're tribe has no reference to the USA, trade souls for profit, corrupt your lives away. 60% stare at the sun, droping like files one by one. Lets say a quick prayer to break the spell. A.I.D.S. your living hell. Lets add another false hope, Watch your illution burn. Little planes people, you have no where to run. Millions, everywhere, ruled under rich thumb. Sell me another life, it all means nothing, when you reach thirty somthing. My slum is my home, my prides left stoned I can stand on a hill, and beg for my life. Hold my head in my hands, and relive a cry. A dead bodys nothing when you've seen it all before. A dead animals somthing, when i walk its skin all over my floor. As long as i have money, thats all i need to survive. As i prey to my god on sunday, I wish i felt alive. So you take a garden, divide peace by peace. Conservation project Lets let the rich feast. After all you appreciate it so much more, than those who live hear, and those at war.

Up the ladder: Stronger
Down the ladder: Blobby blob code **

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Arithmetic Mean: 3.0
Weighted score: 4.462117
Overall Rank: 12879
Posted: July 1, 2005 12:17 PM PDT; Last modified: July 1, 2005 12:17 PM PDT
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Comments:
[5] Dovina @ 12.72.7.163 | 1-Jul-05/4:05 PM | Reply
illution - us a spell checker.

I think the voice of the first verse could be carried through to greater effect. Toward the end it get whiney and loses impact.
[n/a] Nuit @ 86.128.205.238 > Dovina | 1-Jul-05/4:24 PM | Reply
Fair comment. I ammended the last verse as I felt it may cause unintentional offence, hence(edit) Thanx for the imput.
[7] darby pyn @ 207.200.116.130 | 2-Jul-05/12:07 AM | Reply
I enjoyed this.
well done.
[3] Bluemonkey @ 170.141.68.99 | 5-Jul-05/8:49 AM | Reply
I love how you left the misspelling in to illustrate the lack of education in Africa. That's great.
[n/a] Nuit @ 86.128.208.45 > Bluemonkey | 5-Jul-05/1:41 PM | Reply
That wasn’t the intention! Then again these things are left up to interpretation. If you’d rather see that than my stupidity, then I’m all for it!!
[3] Bluemonkey @ 170.141.68.99 > Nuit | 7-Jul-05/10:28 AM | Reply
I was being sarcastic, you dimwit.
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