poemranker ::Our Soldiers by Lenore

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 128279

Our Soldiers

Member since 2002 · Posted 6 Jul 2005 · 4 comments

Their life’s the war’s. By following any street Your feet will find the sand at their end. Barbed wires serve for fences. The land is shaken Like a dune by all the bombs that waken, Blinding from sky to eye. There’s a calm seat Where Generals sit who fight the war no more- Aged, but hard and stony to the core, To whom the battle was a trusted friend. About the long-lived, huddled Army-camp Their talk assumes the shifting sand’s undertone ; Their motions go like gradual grains blown down, And each soldier stands on the desert alone. Even when they group in waiting idleness The war’s pain stays about them ; they confess In every mood they are the battle’s own. Their tanks who tread the street go mean and neat Like lips whose words and wails, complete ; Their loves, too, serve the wars who stay at home While their soldiers iron vessels roar and roam. Every longing hearts a tank, and they, its crew- Their life’s the war’s ; sometimes their death is, too!

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 5.50 weighted 5.06 rank 6735 views 250 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

4 comments

[7] Bluemonkey 6-Jul-05/8:22 AM Reply
Actually, I think this isn't bad. Don't like the last line, but whatever.
[6] Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 7-Jul-05/1:56 AM Reply
their life's the war's.
their life "is" the War's life? is that what it means?

[n/a] Lenore › Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 8-Jul-05/8:17 AM Reply
Yes.
[8] zodiac 7-Jul-05/2:51 AM Reply
"Their life’s the war’s ; sometimes their death is, too!"

Yeah, that kind of follows logically, doesn't it? The rest is decent. Live from the desert. Over and out.