Hmm, I hate cats too but I don't know if I'd go that far..still a good poem though.

For a translation insisting to rhyme, this is very good. One small wince is that in your version it sounds like it's only the crew of one ship that would do this, while in the original it's any old bunch of sailors.

Hee hee. That's lovely.

A prose poem, I take it? A bit too prosy, even for that.

Could stand another take.

Eighth line, get rid of 'That'.

Hmm. Get rid of the initial 'Oh'. Fifth stanza, get rid of 'and'. There are a few other rhythmic things I'd think could be changed, but can't think how. The end of each line does not require a punctuation mark.

Let me see... I read and voted on this twenty minutes ago. What exactly have you changed?

'Stop kidnapping my pet'... Wonderful. How often has the stalker done so? Does the pet just keep reappearing on the doorstep or something?

I'd prefer it as a prose poem. But that's just me.

If this had turned out to be an acrostic, it would have been brilliant. As it is...

Hmm. Needs a rewrite. Sharpen it up.

Heavens. Love/above. How original. Yawn. Line 12: Put wings in the plural and get rid of 'were'. That helps the rhythm. However, for the sake of rhyme you have put that one line in past tense while the rest of the poem is in the present. It can work, but it seems odd. I'd also suggest changing it to 'down on you and I' throughout, thus adding to the five syllable rhythm threading through this whole thing (5, 8, 10, 11, 15).

Amusing. From the sheer poetical point of view, a lesser effort than what I've come to expect of you. It balances out.

You get a point for using the word 'Façade'. Another for giving it a cedilla. The 'Night of a thousand white eyes' gets you a third. The rest is dreck. Start from those two things and do it again.